Time to get real people. I’ve had a great time making entertaining videos but it seems folks want to know the REAL STORY. Well, this is it. The story of me (warts and wayward decisions and all)! Want to experience the transition from litigator to live-aboard? Come aboard!
Thanks to my Patrons who help me share the journey. Get inspired. Get on board.
Okay, who are we kidding? He doesn’t need the rum. He’s always a pirate.
May 1, 2015:
It’s B! Our buddy, Bottom-Job Brandon (who has rightfully reminded me anytime I mention his name, I should also mention his company — Perdido Sailor, Inc. — or he’s going to have to re-brand). He’s all decked out here for the annual Pirate’s Ball, the kick-off for the annual Perdido Wooden Boat Festival at Pirate’s Cove in Josephine (more commonly referred to as Orange Beach), Alabama.
Phillip and I had the event on our calendar for weeks — May 2-3, 2015. Not just because it’s an awesome pirate party, our friends were planning to sail over for it, too, and we really don’t need an excuse to get that boat out. No, we were really going for the book signing! The Point Yacht Club, the self-proclaimed “Little Yacht Club That Could” whose clubhouse-in-progress is right next door to the Cove, invited me over for a Salt of a Sailorbook reading and signing before the ball. Pirate costumes, rum and salty book sales? Who says ‘no’ to that?
We were also curious to see how the fridge would perform without power for the weekend after the pancreas-splitting Great Stuff repair. We turned the fridge on on Wednesday evening to let it start cooling down. While it did take some time (and several cranks up on the fridge setting), we were pleased to see it finally reach 40 degrees Friday morning on the 6 setting and holding. We headed out that afternoon, planning to meet up with Brandon and his family on their Gulf Star at the Cove. But, we were surprised to have him cruise right up next to us in the ICW on our way over. Good timing.
That little 17′ sloop rig he’s towing is s/v Ellavday, a wooden boat he and his father-in-law built for Brandon’s daughter, Ella. Great name, huh? That thing is a beauty and so much fun to sail. If you want to really sharpen your sailing skills, test them in a little boat!
It was great to have Brandon cruising along next to us, too. I love when we see fellow boat buddies out on the water. It’s just “boat code” to snap pics of each other under sail. With s/v5 O’clock leading the way, we made our way on over to the Cove.
In the weeks before the ball, Phillip and I had been snatching up some pirate attire and accessories and sending pictures to Brandon and his crew with a little light trash-talking as to whose costumes were going to be better. It must have worked because the Halls took the prize with their complete family pirate ensemble, from parents to little pirate run-a-mucks, even the gangly photo-bomber in the back.
Nice hat Uncle Russ.
I would say the doo-rag on their little pirate bundle (Kaitlin) was the cutest, but I just couldn’t. This little rapscallion (Ella) stole the show, unsheething her cardboard sword at every opportunity and poking the air with a fierce “AAAaarrrggghhh!”
You know it makes you want to do it, too. Go on. Who cares what your co-workers think. Close your door and unleash your inner pirate — “AAaarrrgghhh!”
The Captain and I came decked out in full costume as well, donning head-to-toe swashbuckler attire:
Jody Horner with the Yacht Club was instrumental in putting together this whole reading and signing, and I can’t thank her enough.
She literally dragged people over to my table by force, fished twenties out of their pockets and made them buy my book. It was awesome!
At Jody’s request, I read a fun passage from the book that describes our Second Mate for the momentous journey — the infamous MITCH! This was the passage she chose:
Now, let me take a moment to tell you a little more about our Second Mate–the infamous Mitch. Where do I begin? First, I must say, he’s an incredible friend to give up five days to sail across the open Gulf with us and help get the boat back. As fun as it is, remember what I told you about sailing, it is indeed hard work, and we were out of touch with the rest of the cellular world for days at a time. That’s a big commitment, and there is no way we could have done it without him. But, as I mentioned, Mitch is all of six feet, four inches. While that may seem pretty normal for a guy–on land–it’s a bit much on a 35-foot sailboat. Mitch lumbered and bumbled around that boat like an elephant going through a carwash. Each step of his foot on the deck sounded like Neal Armstrong landing on the moon. Ka-boom. I honestly felt sorry for him while I watched him bumble up and down the companionway stairs and through the hatch. He must have felt like he was crawling around on Playskool equipment. After a while, he decided to give it up altogether. Instead, each time I got up to go down the stairs, and I mean the minute I merely lifted my ass off of the cockpit seat, he would start in with “While you’re down there.” Sometimes I just had to screw with him. “Down where? I was going up on the deck to check the sails,” I would say as I walked up topside, knowing full well I had had every intention of going down below, but whatever it was for was now going to wait another fifteen minutes until the next time Mitch beckoned. I have to admit, it was fun, and Phillip and I had a good time christening him with the nickname–Mitch, While-You’re-Down-There, Roberts. But, to be honest, I’m sure it was a lot of work for him to lug that big body up and down those tiny stairs, and he did hold the helm for several shifts that day, so, the teasing was always followed with, “Sure buddy. What do you need.” Mitch was a talker and a screamer but he had a heart of gold. He taught me a great deal about sailing and he was a true asset on the trip.
The reading really was quite an honor and I enjoyed chatting with readers and fans afterward while Jody hustled them out of their hard-earned bills.
I also donated a few books and bottles of wine as a giveaway to help the Point Yacht Club raise money to finish their clubhouse-in-progress. They’re getting close!
After my Sharpie was worn to a nub, it was time for the much-anticipated Pirate’s Ball! We shuffled our way over to the Cove and stumbled upon this striking figure on the way in:
Lady BlackSquall!! Yowza!
And, do know that the bottle she’s holding was chalk full of home-made moonshine which she forced you to take a shot of before you could pass through to the party. Love that gal. But, the real treat of the evening? Mr. While-Your-Down-There himself showing up for the party, dressed in full pirate regalia with his trusty sea-wench at side!
Clearly we don’t need the rum to act like pirates …
After we petered out from the pirate party, we crashed hard on the boat. Having it right there docked up at the Cove always makes for an awesome boating weekend. That way you have easy access to all your amenities (which for us, was still a cold fridge on the 6 setting), yet easy access to the ongoing party at the Cove.
The next day we toodled around and checked out the exquisite wooden boats on display for the festival.
I set up a little table as an official “vendor” with my books in tow (Little Author Who Could here) in hopes of selling a few copies at the festival. Business was slow at first, so I busted out my ukulele and started strumming about in hopes of drawing folks to my sad little tent. Somehow, I managed to entice this interesting chap. Meet Gnarly:
He’s gnarly. He was also an awesome guitarist. He gave me his pick and taught me how to (in his words) “spank on the strings.” I had a great time hanging out with Gnarly. Life is so full of cool people.
With Gnarly’s magic touch on the uke, I was able to snag a few folks in my web and sell some books.
It was enough, at least, to buy us dinner and a few rum drinks that night. If sales ever start to cover boat repairs and maintenance, I think we’ll be all set. In all, it was another wild and raucous weekend at the Cove, with great friends and supporters of my author endeavors. I can’t thank the kind folks at the Point Yacht Club enough for hosting the book signing for me. It was fun being a celebrity for an hour. We had a great sail home, too, with the sun setting on our port and the moon rising at the same time to starboard.
Strange to think it really is the same sun and moon that set and rose back in the pirate heydays. Heck, I’ll bet some of the crumbling planks that make up the walls at Pirate’s Cove are from the same era. The swashbuckling behavior there sure hasn’t changed. They still drink, holler, spit and dance. I don’t think it’s the rum that makes the pirate, it’s the spirit.
Thanks as always, to the many patrons who help make these posts just a little more possible through PATREON.