November 9, 2019 – Great Harbour Cay, Bahamas:
[Spoken in a thick Aussie accent] There I was … standing on the precipice, knowing it was going to be a gnarly journey across treacherous waters and an even more unforgiving landscape once I reached the other side. But, he was out there, baiting me, challenging me … one wild and unpredictable Croc!
Okay, I know, it’s not an actual scary crocodile, but do you know what IS scarier than a crocodile? Whatever the heck is crawling around on this floor that I have nightmares will crawl under my toenails grow roots out if I don’t wear shower shoes.
And, it just so happens my shower shoes were Crocs. These cute little flamingo-themed croc flops that aren’t nearly as bad as the original Croc, which I both refuse to (and cannot) wear. Seriously, the first few times I tried to wear the iconic platypus style when they were a wild hot rage 15 years ago, that bulbous toe would always stub the ground causing me to stumble, trip, even fall. Apologies in advance if any of you are Croc-lovers out there, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say many of these “Croc truths” are not wholly UN-true …
Jesus, those are funny. And, yes, they make them in heels.
Yes, they make them in the form of a cake.
They even make everyone wear them to weddings on the lake.
I’m not sure about this one, though? Truth or a Croc?
While I cannot do the platypus version, I did love my flamingo shower flops and they taught me a very important lesson. Maybe this should be Cruising Rule #78: When boarding a boat, never leave your flops on the dock. Why?
They’ll blow the heck away! Flops mostly, but boat shoes too, particularly if they are Crocs, which mine are! Don’t hate, mine are cute!
But, you know those things are made out of super-light NASA foam stuff that can never sink (and likely never biodegrade, unfortunately). While they are not recyclable either, I was at least pleased to find the company Crocs has partnered with a program, Soles 4 Souls, where you can donate your used Croc shoes back so Crocs can then distribute them to poverty-stricken countries for kids and adults who cannot afford shoes. At least there’s that.
Sadly I had broken Rule #78 that November day post-shower and one of my poor Croc-tastic shower flops blew off the dock and across the bay at Great Harbour Cay. I came back up after dropping my shower goodies down below and making a cocktail (because that’s the first thing you do post-shower!) to find only one lone flamingo flop left on the dock! But, Phillip and I did not fear, because those things float forever, right? We’d lost Crocs to the same plight before only to find them happily floating on the other side of the harbor the next day. As the sun was setting that evening, he and I both swore we saw a tiny little white spec across the harbor from our boat, so we eased merrily into the evening (and into round two of our ‘tails) assuring ourselves a quick Croc hunt in the morning would surely uncover my missing reptile.
So, the next morning, we lit up early and pumped up our awesome inflatable YOLO paddleboard on deck so I could paddle over to find that darned shoe! Phillip got me this paddleboard as a birthday gift (he’s kind of awesome that way) back in … gosh … 2014 I believe, and it’s been a real asset on the boat.
It’s a secondary vehicle to/from shore when we need it, a nice getaway from one another when we need a solitary “check-out” paddle, and even fun trying to surf it in light waves! We even patched it with G-Flex 3-4 years ago when it blew out a seam and that crazy fix has held ever since!
[Back to the Aussie accent] Pumped and prepared, off she went, rigid paddle in hand, eyes laser-focused on her target. As she muscled her way across the tumultuous, enemy-laden waters, her knuckles whitened and her muscles flexed. Hunter Annie was on a mission to wrangle a killer Croc on the uncharted eastern shore.
Yes, it was that dramatic. That was quite the paddle. I almost … broke a sweat! *gasp* I’m kidding. You sweat all the time in the Bahamas. From the minute you wake, until the sun goes down and you shower. It’s just part of it. Sadly, though I did make it safely across, I found no white flamingo-themed Croc on the lee shore. Whatever white spec Phillip and I had seen the night before was just that … a crock! I checked and overturned every white piece of anything I could find – pieces of Styrofoam, white tennis shoes, white take-out containers, you name it. But, no flamingo Croc. I did, however, find a spongy gem! Laid bare, all on its own, as if calling to me, was one lonely black Teva flop. It looked fairly new, sun-baked so I assumed it was clean, and just my size! Likely a men’s shoe from the look of it, but still just my size! Only problem was, I couldn’t recall which Croc flop I had lost … the right or the left? Hoping for the best, I tucked the black Teva under the bungee on my board and paddled my way back to the boat.
And, wouldn’t you know it …
The perfect pair! Ebony and ivory! These are, I kid you not, my shower shoes to this day. I get some funny looks sometimes on my way to/from the showers. But, if folks think me mismatching my shoes is the worst I did that day, then I believe I’m ahead of the game! And, I love a shoe with a story. I love anything that has a story.
The funny thing was, though, this tongue-in-cheek “croc hunt”—while not in actuality dangerous at all—did almost end in actual danger on the way back. So … I mentioned the inflatable paddleboard, right? And, the “enemy-laden waters.” I wasn’t kidding about that. Do you want to know what swims around in the Great Harbour Cay Marina?
Sharks. Plenty of them.
We were disheartened to find, about an hour after my paddle, our paddleboard wilting and sinking into the water behind the boat. Poor thing. She’d blown another seam But, she’d definitely done her job first. It gives me chills looking back thinking that paddleboard could have started deflating and sinking when I was still many yards from the boat and I would have been flailing around in those shark-ridden waters. *gulp* I know they say that sharks in the wild will likely ignore you if you’re not failing about, injured, or bleeding. But, I’m two out of three of those things on any given day, so I don’t want to test the theory. In all, I called the croc hunt a success as it restored my shower show pair, and we set to patching up the YOLO hoping she wouldn’t be any worse for the wear!
And, if I didn’t mention this I would be sorely amiss! That night on the boat Phillip whipped up pure bliss! Homemade meatloaf with spinach and mushrooms.
I love wining and dining with that man – Cheers!
Next up, we head to Devil’s-Hoffman. Any of you ever been there? It was the Blue Hole or Bust!
