I Don’t Miss the Office

They say you just have to write what you’re feeling, so this is what’s coming out.  Some days this whole HaveWindWillTravel gig is exhausting.  I am a one-woman film/write/edit production team.  I am my own camera crew.  GoPro goes everywhere with me, along with my mega-grip selfie stick.  I always have my laptop at hand to scribble down some musings or chapter intros.  I publish two videos per week, one blog.  I have two self-published books on Amazon that I promote and market.  I’m trying to get started on my third, but it never seems like there are enough hours in the day.  But you know what?

I don’t miss the office.

Screenshot 2016-03-08 at 8.51.06 AM

Seriously, that was my cell, with the little path to my chair picked out between boxes upon boxes of records, depositions, transcripts and files.  The sheer volume of my obligations was literally stacking up and threatening to topple over onto me.  Some days I wake now and I feel a little pressed for time to review footage, complete a video, write a blog post or get any number of the other things I need to get done in between the time we are currently spending at the yard trying to get our little boat back in the water, but the “stress” from those obligations can never compare to the gut-wrenching, sweat-inducing pressure I used to put on myself while in the practice.

Screenshot 2016-03-08 at 8.50.58 AM

I harbored such vivid fears of screwing up, disappointing my partners or blowing a case that it often made me feel sick and woozy.  I knew if a certain number popped up on my phone, it would be one of my partners asking me questions I probably could not answer.  If my assistant came into my office and said “We need to talk,” I believed it might be because I had made some major mistake in a filing that might severely impair my client’s case.  I sometimes flung myself awake at night worried I had missed an irreversible filing deadline or failed to ask the one singular most important question in a deposition.  I’m surprised I got much done I was so busy worrying.

Why am I sharing all of this?  I had a good friend say to me the other day, while I was buried down in the engine compartment of our boat, greased up, uncomfortable, contorted in pain trying to thread the tiniest nut on the end of a steering cable clamp:

Screenshot 2016-03-08 at 9.03.04 AM

“I’ll bet you wish you were back sitting in an office right now.”

I stopped fiddling with the nut, I let my arms rest and I had to look at him and tell him: “No.  There’s not a day that goes by.”

I’m sure it surprised him a little.  But, while I still work incredibly hard to create and produce consistent, quality content to promote my books, my YouTube channel and my Patreon campaign, I no longer experience that gut-wrenching, stomach-convulsing fear and stress that I often experienced while “at the office.”  I am now in the driver’s seat of my career and I am now the only person I must answer to when assessing my work performance, progress and goals.  While I am very tough on myself, I no longer fear disappointing a partner, losing a client’s case or costing the firm millions.  The only thing I fear is disappointing myself which I have yet to do.  Even when the return on investment on my productions isn’t as impressive as I would like it to be, I am proud of what I created and garner immense pleasure from those who write to me and tell me they’ve enjoyed a video or one of my books or an article that I have written.  That is my true measure of success.

I hope you all have been enjoying the content!  If so, please support my Give the Gift of Cruising campaign on Patreon to help me create more and share the cruising lifestyle with more people.  Thank you!

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10 Responses to I Don’t Miss the Office

  1. Chris SV Wild Hare says:

    Thank you for sharing, as a fellow sailer and YouTube creator I feel your pain. I guess we just need to keep focused on the reason we started this whole thing to begin with. The joy of what we do and a desire to share it with others.

    Best wishes from SV Wild Hare

    • anniedike says:

      Thanks Chris. It is a labor of love for sure, but I do love it! I’m proud of what I have created and have had a great time filming and sharing it all. Like I said … it beats the practice at least. Every time someone writes to me and tells me I have inspired them to start boat shopping or at least thinking “blue water thoughts,” it makes me smile inside and say: Kudos Video Annie. Kudos.

  2. Dennis Batter says:

    Annie
    I get it. My escape only lasted a year but I never missed it. Never. I had to return to work but not the high stress job . Lot less money but lot less “stuff” I didn’t need anyway. Keep living the dteam

    • anniedike says:

      Thanks Dennis. I will. I believe in the platform and the content I’m creating. It stresses me at times, simply to meet my own deadlines to stay on schedule but it’s nothing like what I used to experience. Glad to hear you found at least a pocket of time to break free!

  3. Larry Golkin says:

    Thanks for your thoughts. I am a lawyer in California. Been one for 25 years. Many files. I know your pain, although I have been self employed throughout most of it.

    In 2010 we took 3 years off and accomplished the Great Loop twice and then trucked the 41 foot Roughwater to Seattle, cruised in the PNW for a while and then came down the west coast to our home port at Channel Islands Harbor. Now I am back practicing law again…and hating almost every minute of it. We still use our boat regularly and this is the only way I find peace. Some say it’s dangerous out there. I know it’s much more dangerous on the beach

    We are planning to go out again for a longer period of time. This time we will sail as there are places to go that oir Roughwater 41 cannot take us. The hardest part is waiting. We know how to cut the lines. We’ve been there done that. It’s just not coming fast enough.

    I find that my training and experience has prepared me to do anything. But what does a lawyer do? I’m happy that you have found another calling. I hope it pans out so you can afford to do what you love. You’ll hit many lows out cruising. You’ll surely find yourself in a togh spot wondering, “Now what am I going to do?” But when you’re there in some strange place wondering just how you’re going to fix this or that, and no help close at hand, and then when you figue it out, you’ll be happy; much happier than winning a case for sure.

    All the best

    Larr
    http://www.theadventuresofmvabreojos.blogspot.com

    • anniedike says:

      Wow, Larry. Such poignant thoughts. Thank you. That is definitely how I felt about the practice. It challenged me for sure, but the accomplishments (winning a case) just didn’t seem to resonate with me. It didn’t make all of the toil and effort and feel worth it. That has definitely changed. I still work as much, I just love what I do and what I am accomplishing. Hope to see you two back out there soon. If there is any way to make it come sooner, do! Appreciate the support. The crowd support has been heart-warming and helpful.

  4. Rex Rarick says:

    Today’s post is awesome! I Don’t Miss The Office, tells it like it is, and I admire you for doing what you want. Takes a lot of guts.
    Love you Annie!

  5. JayMad says:

    Don’t forget the goal was to slow down and simplify. Attention!

    On Wed, Mar 9, 2016, 04:34 Have Wind Will Travel wrote:

    > anniedike posted: “They say you just have to write what you’re feeling, so > this is what’s coming out. Some days this whole HaveWindWillTravel gig is > exhausting. I am a one-woman film/write/edit production team. I am my own > camera crew. GoPro goes everywhere with me, alo” >

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