Landlubber Outings – Page 3 – Have Wind Will Travel

Buffett Finale – Skirting the Dauphin Island Regatta Storm

July 1, 2015July 1, 2015anniedike

April 25, 2015:

Since our Buffett debauchery started early, our night ended pretty early, too. After a few hours hooting and hollering and bopping flying beach balls at the Buffett concert, we were beat.

We crashed hard on the boat but woke well-rested and were glad we still had one more day on our Buffett voyage. It was Saturday, April 25, 2015. We had no real plans or agenda other than to make way west during the day over to Red Fish Point or Ft. McRae to spend the night on the hook before heading back to Pensacola on Sunday. Some coffee was lazily brewed and the docks were meandered before we decided to go ahead and get under way. We had no idea what was coming that day. As I said, no one did. But, by some stroke of luck we decided to toss the lines and head out just in time to tuck in safe for it.

Our de-docking was an unexpected adventure. Reminds me of Cap’n Ron when he barrelled in, skidded up to the dock and jumped off with a hearty “Hey, hey!” — except ours was unintentional. We were tucked in here at slip L175, with a strong (17 knot) west wind on our nose.

Our plan was to back out of the slip, ease the stern around to port, then head back out to the ICW. Simple, right? Sure, in theory–not in execution. We started backing out just fine, got all the lines untied and on the boat and were making our way out. I’m at the bow, ready to push off poles if need be and the bow (not the stern) starts turning strangely to port.

“Are you going to pull back in?” I holler to Phillip, a dock line in hand. He doesn’t answer me immediately. I know not to ask a million questions when he’s struggling with a situation like this, but I did feel the need to ask the one important one. “What’s the plan?” I can see him looking around, handling the wheel, fettering out what the wind is going to let the boat do. But, seconds are passing, he’s pretty much all the way out now, stern to the ICW facing the dead end wall with what does not appear to be enough room to turn around, especially with the west wind and a wall of big, expensive boats behind us.

“Nope,” he yells back after a few calculated seconds. “We’re just going to back out of here.”

Oh Lord. I stood at the bow, ready to push off of boats on our port side where the wind was blowing us, ready to throw a line if need be, ready to–I don’t know, really, do anything necessary I suppose. But, none of it was necessary. Once Phillip got some speed, he was able to handle the boat perfectly in reverse. You should have seen the folks at the dock watching us, slowly easing their coffee mugs down, cocking their heads to the side, eyeing us strangely.

You would have thought Jimmy Buffett himself was backing out of there with the looks we were getting. I’m sure it was a sight to see, us backing out like that. Once I could see Phillip had it all under control, I kind of posed up at the bow, like a hood ornament, waving and smiling. We were rock stars in reverse!

Phillip backed us up into the ICW, clocked the bow around and we set off. It was around 10:00 a.m. With the steady wind on our stern, we threw out the Jenny for a fantastic day of sailing. This little box-of-a-boat passed us along the way (headed to Pirate’s Cove I’m sure).

We sailed all the way down the ICW, through all the turns and dog legs and everything–never cranking the engine once. It was an awesome day on the water. The winds ranged between 14 and 19 knots, strong, but, on our stern, they were nice. We sailed right up to Red Fish Point and were picking out a spot to drop our hook around 3:00 p.m. Looking at the texture and chop on the water, though, Phillip was starting to question our decision to anchor there.

“We’re pretty exposed here,” he said, looking at the weather and radar on his phone. I had to agree with him, bouncing around up at the bow, ready to drop the hook but seeing exactly what he was talkinga about–textured water, white caps, etc. “I think we ought to pull into Ft. McRae tonight. Get a little more protection,” Phillip decided.

“Fine with me,” I hollered back and set my anchor gear down so we could make the 15 minute motor into Ft. McRae. Right about that time, Phillip started getting severe weather alerts on his phone. He certainly wasn’t questioning his decision to pull into Ft. McRae then. When we saw what was coming on the radar, we kinew we needed some shelter. We tucked in on the south side of Sand Island and dropped 100 feet of chain to be safe.

The scene in Ft. McRae was deceiving. There was a guy kite-boarding on the east side of Sand Island, several families set up near the fort with tents and tables and chairs and such. It was cheery. We saw a big foil kite launch over on the west side of Sand Island so I decided to go for a quick run on my paddleboard to check out our neighbors and the goings-on.

The guy with the foil kite was paragliding–jumping off the sandy dune cliff on the west side of the island and letting the steady west wind push him back into the soft sand. It looked like he was just getting the hang of it and had found a good safe place to practice. He was fun to watch. I found some buddies of ours who anchor out at Ft. McRae often and said a quick hello as I was paddling by. They were on a trawler and had a center console rafted up to it. An older couple sat leisurely on the cockpit of their Catamaran on the south side of us, sipping cocktails and watching the sun drop. The guy kite-boarding on the east side was zipping back and forth, making some nice runs with the west wind. It was a quick, 15 minute paddle, but you would never have guessed any severe weather was coming with the look of things in the anchorage.

Phillip and I agreed when I made it back to the boat that it was high time for a cocktail. I mean, we had just dropped the hook. It is protocol. But, before I even got the paddleboard strapped to the stern rail and got back into the boat, Phillip got another alert on his phone. Severe weather alert No. 2 went out, but this time they were reporting the potential for hale and winds of 70 mph.

It was a quick consensus that we had better drop some more chain before we made those drinks. I headed topside and we let out another 25 feet, so 125 feet total and snubbed her off with our Mantus like we always do. By then, the sky had darkened.

Ominous black clouds hung on the north horizon, and the wind, blowing around 18-20 knots by then, took on an eerie chill. Phillip and I could both sense it coming. I wish our barometer on the boat still worked. I would have liked to have seen what was registering.

We started bringing cushions down below, shutting hatches, readying the boat for a storm. Our actions were precise and swift, our nerves pricked with energy. When we heard more chain rattle out of our buddy’s trawler up ahead, a sense of community urgency started to register. People on the beach quickly hustled kids and buckets and toys back to their boats as the wind continued to build. Center consoles and smaller motor boats started zipping by, parents huddling children and holding onto dogs for what was sure to be a bumpy ride home. We saw a sailboat barreling in the inlet to Ft. McRae and watched as they hauled up next to us, kicked the stern around and started dropping anchor the second after their bow fell behind us. I was worried–okay irritated at first–knowing we had some crazy wind coming and now we had a boat not 30 feet away to worry about. But, you could tell by their movements that they were sharp sailors, doing exactly what needed to be done to protect themselves and their vessel in the coming storm.

Phillip and I stood in the cockpit, donning our foul weather gear over our swimsuits, cocktails filling the last thought on our minds and watched as the rains began to engulf the boats ahead of us to the west. Then the wind came–30 knots, 35, 40, 42.

“HOLD!” Phillip shouted into the wind, his thunderous voice about as useful as a spit into the ocean. But, it was all we could do. The only thing that was going to save our boat was that anchor holding. I have never felt such power on the boat from wind alone. We were heeled on anchor. Our boat was swinging so violently to the north and south on its pivot point that it registered a hull speed of 1.2, again while on anchor. The wind didn’t blow, it howled, over the mast, the dodger, every shroud, before it shrieked past us in the cockpit. I wish I had videoed it. I really do. But, documenting is really the last thing on your mind when the only thing saving your boat from popping loose, smashing into the boat behind you and dragging both vessels to shore in a sickening cacophony of banging aluminum and crunching fiberglass is one little anchor in the mud and some chain.

“HOLD!” I hollered it with him. It seemed to help because she did. Thank the stars in heaven she did, even with the bow dipped down so far water cascaded up over the pulpit and the toe rails. It was a strange sight to see all of us cowered in our cockpits or looking out port lights just watching one another. I imagine it’s the same look of helpless terror you would share with someone on an elevator that’s dropping uncontrollably. Phillip and I watched with bitten lips as the head sail on that Catamaran south of us started to flip and flail and wiggle its way out. As soon as it started, it wasn’t ten seconds before it unfurled halfway out and ripped to shreds. The couple emerged and put on a frantic show, the man up at the forestay trying to wrestle the sail in 35 knots of wind, the woman back in the cockpit trying to sheet it in. I had just paddled by them not 20 minutes earlier and admired their serenity, sipping cocktails in the cockpit waiting for the sun to set. No one knew the fury that was about to be unleashed.

Tents ripped up and rolled along the beach. Little buckets and toys and cans raced and tumbled along the sand. We could see the hands and faces of the guys on the sailboat that had scooted in last minute pressed up against the port lights, looking out. The captain would pop his head up every once in a while quickly out of the companionway to look around as his boat whipped around as violently as ours. Then the paddle board zipped across our view. Stupidly, we had left it hooked by its springy leash to the stern rail and it was now airborne, 10 feet behind the boat, hovering and spinning like a pinwheel on a windy day. Like I said, I wish I had videoed it, particularly because I had my phone right there with me. I kept refreshing the radar to see the blob of shit that was upon us. It was huge but thankfully moving fast, up and to the north. I had at least thought to take a picture of the radar:

We were just on a little sliver of green on the south side of the storm and we were getting 40 knots? I can’t imagine what it felt like for the folks in Mobile Bay at the Dauphin Island regatta. Truth be told, I don’t think I ever want to. One of the last gusts on the boat registered at 44 knots. That’s approximately 55 mph. Ass-puckering is what that is. It’s the most wind I have ever felt on our boat and the most I ever want to feel. The anchor wailed and groaned and the bow dipped, but she held. Thank God she held. And, thankfully, the storm passed through quickly. It was about 10 minutes of terror and then it was gone. I finally thought, after the worst of it had passed to get a little footage and video, but it in no way does it justice.

The guys in the sailboat next to us starting easing out, blinking and looking around, taking it all in. They quickly determined the coast was clear and started working, just as efficiently as they had to drop the anchor, to raise it and get the heck out of there. The captain gave us a knowing nod of his head as he passed by. We had survived it. We had no idea at the time what went down in Mobile Bay and the people that were fighting and flailing in the water at that very moment. We just knew we had 30 more knots of wind on the boat than we wanted but we had survived it. Phillip and I slowly started bringing up cushions, opening hatches, getting things back to normal. Phillip checked the anchor line and snubber to make sure we hadn’t suffered any damage at the bow.

Afterward, we started joking around about that cocktail: “Okay, now, it is definitely time for that drink!”

And, as it always seems, nature likes to remind you sometimes, what had just 30 minutes prior been a treacherous scene–thick black clouds, sheets of rain, driving wind–cleared to reveal one of the most beautiful and serene sunsets we have ever seen in Ft. McRae. Aside from the littered beach and the shredded foresail on the Cat next to us, it was like it had never happened.

We fired up the grill, cooked some chicken and kind of sat wondering if it had in fact happened.

I know what we experienced was pretty insignificant compared to the mariners who were sailing, full canvas up, in Mobile Bay in the Dauphin Island regatta when that wicked storm hit. They reported winds of 73 knots, numerous passengers overboard, many boats capsized, damaged or lost. Here is some footage if you haven’t yet seen it:

I believe it’s been reported as the most deadly regatta race tragedy to occur in the states. Looking back on it, I can’t believe the day started so amiably–Phillip and I just sipping coffee, meandering the docks, lazily tossing the lines and making our way down the ICW. The fact that we made it safely into Ft. McRae before the bottom fell out was pure luck–not an ounce of sail savvy involved. The decision not to anchor at Red Fish Point, though, I will say was all Phillip. He’s good about checking the weather before we drop the hook, trying to see what winds are predicted and whether we are in a sufficiently protected area to weather them. (I’m usually planning my post-drop cocktail … )

I am also glad we decided to throw out another 25 feet of chain for a total of 125 feet of rode out. That is more than we would usually need in Ft. McRae but I’m certain it played a factor in our anchor’s ability to, as Phillip said, “HOLD!” We also had the anchor snubbed up, which we always do with a Mantus hook and rope cleated at the bow. That much weight and pull would not have been good for the winlass I’m sure.

Now, leaving the paddle board attached to the stern rail was just dumb. That thing could have easily ripped off and been halfway across the bay in 10 minutes. That’s an expensive toy to lose to a stupid mistake. But, it would have been a small price to pay for the storm we were able to weather. I hated to see the couple on the Catamaran lose their head sail. I don’t know if there is anything different they could have done. Sometimes these things just happen. They can’t be stopped. But, it did make us think we could have easily put some extra bungees around our head sail because you just never know. Looking back, we also probably should have put on our PFDs and grapped the EPIRB just in case. You might think that would be a bit much in the protected cove of Ft. McRae, but, with those winds, you could get sucked out and blown across the Bay pretty easily. It’s easy to panic in times like that and waste precious energy trying to swim against the conditions. We heard many of the folks who went overboard in the Dauphin Island regatta weren’t wearing life vests. Also, several who were rescued from the water were found only because they had cell phones or hand-held GPS devices on them that they used to help direct the rescue boats to their location.

In all, we took away several important lessons from the storm. However, while I hate to say it, it’s just true–for the most part, it was pure luck and that’s just a big part of it. We had several friends who we discovered later had been racing in the Dauphin Island Regatta when the storm hit and, though shaken, reminded and humbled at the power and magnitude of the weather, they all agreed–they were just plain lucky to be alive. But, take it as it comes. If you’re going to get out there and sail, you’re going to run into storms and, while you can be smart and cautious, often the determining factor of whether or not you survive them unscathed is just plain luck.

Thanks as always, to the many patrons who help make these posts just a little more possible through PATREON.

Bon Buffett Voyage – Day Four: Buffett Brings Debauchery

June 24, 2015June 18, 2015anniedike

April 24, 2015:

While we love big bunnies and balloon animals as much as anyone, we were far more excited about the night we had ahead. It was finally time for Buffett’s big debut! It was Phillip’s birthdday, we had a big steak dinner planned and every intention of blowing the evening out with a mayhem-filled night of debauchery at the Buffett concert.

Buffett said, “I want to see YOU there!”

You got it Jimmy.

Funny thing was, though, the folks at the marina told us Jimmy actually spent a good bit of the morning riding around the Wharf grounds in a golf cart asking meandering Wharf patrons where the concert was and when it started. As you know or have probably heard, Mr. Buffett likes to stay non-descript. He’s not much for the flash and flare of a paparazzi lifestyle, so he does a good job of blending in. Word on the street was, he would pick the obvious Parrotheads–those walking around decked out in Landshark hats, Tommy Bahamas shirts and Hawaiian leis–yet they had no clue they were talking to the man himself, their idol, their icon, Jimmy Buffett. Some pointed him politely toward the amphitheater, some gave him wrong times for the concert and some even blew him off a bit, not wanting any interruptions while they were sauntering around in their blissful Buffett zone. That man seems to have fun with his celebrity status.

In addition to the Sunset Festival, the Wharf also had the Bama Coast Cruise going on. It was pretty cool walking around checking out all of these old, cherried-out cruisers along the main drive.

I liked the ones that were decked out with big stuffed characters from the olden days!

The Grinch:

Wiley Coyote:

Little known fact – the RoadRunner is the state bird of my home state, New Mexico. Road-kill coyote might be the state meat. I’ll have to verify that.

As if Buffett and the Bama Coast Cruise weren’t enough, they also had the famous Flora-Bama Mullet Toss going on that weekend too. I highly recommend this redneck tradition. If the flailing fish aren’t entertaining enough, I guarantee the groomed mullets and tramps stamps will be. We take our fish flinging pretty seriously around here.

I should know — Yours Truly placed second in the female 26-39 division at the Mullet Toss in 2011. Seriously, I can’t make this stuff up:

Rather than a redneck parade at the Flora-Bama, we spent the day lounging at the Oasis. I mean … who wouldn’t? The place is gorgeous.

I decided to dawn a special birthday suit for the occasion — not that one, this one!

My “Captain Jo” hat my brother got me for my birthday last year. It’s kind of become the birthday hat. We certainly got some funny looks at the pool with it, which made it totally worth it. Thank you John!!

After a few hours around the lazy river, it was back to the boat to spruce up for our big b’day dinner. Where were we going, you might ask? Only the best restaurant at the Wharf. Well, only the best restaurant anywhere — Chez Phillipe! Phillip really is a phenomenal chef so when we cook, at home or on the boat, we’re pretty much guaranteed the best meal in “town.” What had he planned to cook up for his big day?

BEEF! It’s what’s for dinner.

Sure beats Roadkill Coyote!

The smell of it, though, must have been wafting through the air, because no sooner than we had pulled our steaks out to sear we get a knock on the hull.

“Excuse me,” a voice rang out. “Have you seen my lost shaker of salt?”

“Oh, never mind. I found it hanging around my neck!” Elle. You gotta love a woman that makes a hat for every occasion. Fourth of July:

St. Patty’s Day:

And, this here was her Jimmy Buffett Landshark hat. She said she couldn’t find a shark, so a stuffed dolphin would have to do.

A worldwide traveler, accomplished sailor and seasoned skier, Elle is first and foremost a hoot. She and her friend Terry were going to the Buffett concert, too. They stopped by the Plaintiff’s Rest to say hello on their way to the amphitheater, so we did what we normally do when guests arrive–promptly make them our famous house drink, the “Oh Shiiiit!” (five i’s).

We had a fun visit with the gals over cocktails, but it was getting close to Buffett time and we had some fine steaks to get sizzling. “It’s been fun ladies, but we need to get back to the beef.” We bid Elle and Terry adieu and set to dinner.

I will say, Phillip cooked up a perfect piece of meat. It was a birthday feast indeed.

Our bellies full, we were ready for a full night of Buffett shenanigans. We walked over to the amphitheater a little before 7:00 pm to check out the crowd and nab our seats.

There were at least 10 beach balls being bounced around and they stayed afloat pretty much the entire concert. It was just as much fun to watch and swat those things around as it was to watch Jimmy on the stage. You had to keep your hands up and a sharp lookout or you would get … well bonked in the head by an inflatable ball. We soon stopped worrying about it and just let the balls fly while we shouted along to some of Buffett’s finest!

“You got fins to the left, fins to the right and you’re the only girl in town!”

Buffett was a lot of fun. He didn’t play Margaritaville (probably because he’s sick of it), and he threw in a couple of oldies but goodies to shake things up — Stars Fell on Alabama was interesting. Southern Cross was a big hit and probably the highlight for Phillip and I as that song really resonates with us. The Buffett concert was the perfect end to our birthday bonanza. We had one more night on the trip and were planning to head out in the morning to motor sail back to Red Fish Point to spend one last quiet night on the hook. The next day was Saturday, April 25, 2015. I’m sure many of you recognize the date. We had no idea what was coming. No one did. But, we definitely found ourselves on the deadly outskirts of that storm late in the afternoon. While we, thankfully, weathered it safely, we witnessed some damage, some close calls and learned a few lessons, which I will share.

At the time, though, we had no clue what the next day had in store. We were shouting Buffet lyrics, bopping beach balls and dancing the night away.

Thanks as always, to the many patrons who help make these posts just a little more possible through PATREON.

Bon Buffett Voyage Day Three – Burgers, Bunnies, Balloons … Oh My!

June 17, 2015June 17, 2015anniedike

April 23, 2015:

With a heavy heart, we woke the next morning in Ingram’s Bayou and took down the pyrotechnics, the ukulele amps and the aerial silk rig. Nooooo!!!

But, we were excited to make our way over to The Wharf in Orange Beach to claim our slip for the Jimmy Buffett concert.

Recall when we bought our tickets for the concert and called to reserve a slip, they literally laughed at us and put us as No. 93 on the waiting list. Well, 92 cancellations later and here we were, with a slip of our own. So, we hustled up the anchor early and made our way west. I called when we were close and chatted with a gal named Judy who runs the marina office. She was super friendly and sent two strapping young men out to come help us with our lines.

While I love to see her out sailing, all canvas up, I also love to see her docked as well, all safe and sound! Another no-mishap docking accomplished. Whew!

Judy gave us a tour of the new facilities there at The Wharf. They have moved the marina facilities over from where they were previously located by the fuel docks on the west basin to the center of all the action on the east side of the bridge, and the new bathrooms, shower and laundry facilities are all primo. We were really impressed.

Judy was great, too–super knowledgeable and friendly. I may or may not have let it slip that I’m an author and that a book would soon be coming her way. It would be the first to start their marina book swap at the new facility. I was sure donating my very own book to start the swap would totally revive my piteous book swap mojo. Let us all hope. If I have to face another Fabio cover, his white flapping French shirt agape with some frail yet fully-endowed maiden clinging to him, I’m going to puke. Thankfully, Judy, was in my camp and was proud to welcome a good, salty yarn written by a local female sailor, to start the swap out right.

I put a little log in the book for readers to list their vessel, when they got the book and where they dropped it off to help document the book’s travels. Judy wanted to read it first, and then she’s going to send it on its merry way!

Another little traveling book set free! I hope to hear from some folks who find it some day.

After the “drop,” it was time for some food. We headed over to Ginny Lane‘s for lunch and were thrilled to find your first martini is only $1. Sweet! We’ll take two!

I have to say that’s some smart marketing, though. Because the next round is full price, but by then your whistle’s already wet with the stuff and your pocketbook is a little looser. Nice, Ginny. Real nice. They served us up a fine burger and salad as well, which we had earned with all of our hard work peddling my penmanship around the marina.

Then it was over to the Oasis. Have any of you seen the pool at The Wharf? It’s like something a wealthy oil tycoon would build in his backyard–a wave pool, a slow, curvy lazy river, complete with waterfalls and spouts, slides, hammocks, palm trees, a hot tub, a tiki bar. It’s incredible!

We lounged the afternoon away at the pool (cruising is real hard) then hopped on the free marina bikes and peddled the grounds for a bit before cleaning up for dinner, which apparently at The Wharf, comes with a show!

Every Thursday night, the Wharf hosts a “Sunset Festival” much like the Mallory Square festivities in Key West. Remembering our “sloppy sunset” at Mallory Square during our trip to the Keys last year, we knew we were in for a treat.

While the crafty carnies at Mallory have really perfected the craft, I will say the folks at the Wharf did give them a run for their money. There was cheery knife and flame juggler/tightrope walker, a trained dog, live music and some ladies from the local zoo with their more exotic animals in tow.

“What the heck is that?” asked Phillip.

“That’s a bunny, my friend.”

“A 13-pound bunny.”

WHOA!

But, the real talent at the festival? This balloon guy.

I mean, look at his fancy, flattering balloon apron. That’s some dedication. And anyone who can crank out a pretty much lifelike Mario in under a minute–suspenders, mustache and all–takes the trophy in my book. Sorry flame dude, this man was a genius.

In all, the Sunset Festival was really entertaining and, most importantly, totally FREE! Our favorite kind of fun! Dinner with Phillip’s fantastic family at Jimmy’s sister, Lucy’s, place — Lulu’s at Homeport Marina — rounded out the pre-birthday festivities. Tomorrow was the big day for the Captain. His birthday, yes, but more importantly … BUFFETT!

Thanks as always, to the many patrons who help make these posts just a little more possible through PATREON.

Sundowners and Sultry Ladies in N’awlins

April 29, 2015April 30, 2015anniedike

September, 2014:

Ahhh … Dani and Tate. Perhaps I don’t have to introduce them to you all here. You probably already know them. They’ve earned a bit of a celebrity status in the sailing blog world and have certainly been an inspiration to Phillip and I. We started following along on their SundownerSailsAgain blog during the last of the five-year refit of their Westsail 32 for its fourth, but their first, circumnavigation. As Tate so aptly put it, when they stepped on the boat, they “felt its soul.” It seemed, like our Niagara 35, the boat chose them.

Dani and Tate, well into the last leg of their refit when we met them through our mutual blogs in the fall of 2014, were planning to set sail in January, 2015 from their homeport of Metarie, LA to really do it — sail around the entire world. Phillip and I, having planned a trip to NOLA months prior to celebrate the completion of our solar panels project, knew we had to try to meet up with them before they shoved off. So, we set it up, a Sundowner-meets-HaveWind union in the frothy culture hub of the South – New Orleans.

Now, being avid NOLA go’ers already, Phillip and I had already made several reservations at some of our favorite N’awlins eateries and had purchased tickets for a couple of different shows in advance of the trip. What kind of shows you might ask? Only the best — burlesque! While the reason we ended up with tickets to two burlesque shows was through no fault of our own (after the Friday show was seemingly cancelled, we bought tickets to a Saturday show then Friday’s was re-instated — what are you gonna do?), we did hesitate for a moment when Tate asked us if we needed some guidance on finding things to do in the city. Nope, Tate. Unlike the ladies of burlesque, we’ve got it ALL covered! But, knowing we would be meeting up with them on Saturday night, we invited them to Show No. 2 which was actually going to be a Clue-themed murder mystery. I’ll never forget Dani’s response — “Awesome. I’ve never been to one. Can’t wait to solve the mystery! ; )” Love those guys. With everything booked and an exciting meeting in store, we were off.

(And, quick note to the viewers, all photos and videos of the burlesque gals in this post are completely PG 13. I have edited to cover all pretty lady parts (the not-so-pretty ones? Well, it’s just part of the show. Burlesque babes come in all shapes and sizes. Enjoy!)

If you haven’t been to New Orleans, or have only been during Mardi Gras when the city is a chaotic, drunken mess, you should definitely take the time to roam the less-populated streets in the daytime, admire the colorful history and appreciate the true age and culture of the city.

The buildings are almost as colorful as the characters you will meet walking along the cobble streets. The food is eclectic and superb. Just plan to eat and try everything while you’re in the city (NO DIETS ALLOWED). You can work it off when you get back. Trust me, say no to nothing. Our best meal of this trip? The meat pie at Cochon:

Follow that with a worldly trek through W.I.N.O. (the Wine Institute of New Orleans), where you can sample hundreds of wines from regions all over the world,

and you’re ready for a night on the NOLA town.

Street bands seem to emerge around every corner, always playing some jazzy, cajun upbeat number that will force you to put a little dance in your shuffle, smile unknowingly and inhale the energy of the city.

After all of that fun, it was time for Show No. 1 on our list — Cirque d’Licious at the Hi Ho Lounge. Fantastic show. Very talented ladies. And, I do mean that. While pulling your stockings off with your teeth is, yes, entertaining, one gal in particular really impressed me — LadyBeast. (I’ve been called that a time or two). And, you know what her specialty was? Aerial acrobats! But instead of silks, she uses chains! A woman after my own heart!

I have to say, though, I drove Phillip absolutely mad watching her. I was high on the wine and my own inner Cirque-ego came out. I kept saying, “That’s such an easy trick. Super basic. I can totally do that!” To which Phillip, in his infinite wisdom, responded, “Yeah, but you’re not. You’re sitting in the audience. Now hush!”

Hmmmppfff. But, it was really fun to watch LadyBeast do things I did know I could do. I have to admit a little seed planted for my budding burlesque career–after I finish with the sailing perhaps. The real highlight of the show, though, was this little number.

Why, you might ask? Because of this and this …

What are they? Great question! We didn’t know until she hooked up the power cord and roared that thing to life. It was a wire brush grinder. Vrrreeeerrrrr!

Yep. Just like that. And, what do you think this dainty little gal did with it? She fired it up and sparked the place out on her custom garter grind plate. I have to tell you, I’ve seen a number of burlesque shows in my life, but THAT was a first. She was phenomenal. Fearless. A total show-stopper. Funniest part was, though, when I was telling Dani about it the next night. Being the crafty, highly mechanically-inclined sailor she is, she thought immediately about the physical repercussions of use of such a tool near one’s … nether parts.

“My God, wouldn’t it get super hot?” Dani asked, to which my inner thoughts immediately responded, “Yeah, it was super hot.” This literally was probably one of the first things Dani and I discussed when we met on Saturday night. I mean, let’s get down to business, am I right?

The much-anticipated meeting with Dani & Tate from SundownerSailsAgain was incredibly inspiring. Those two had been working so hard for years to fulfill a lifelong dream.

They had saved, scrimped, sacrificed and given pretty much everything they had to do it. They had their concerns and a refreshingly honest approach to what life would be like out there, but they were so energetic and enthusiastic about it, you couldn’t help but feel the excitement pulse out of them. I felt like arcs of energy were going to zap and pop between us. We shared such a common goal. Phillip and I were very fortunate to get to meet the Sundowner crew before they left because we can now feel the personality behind their posts. Dani also did a riveting recap of our NOLA union on her blog as well.

It is also with great joy (and a twinge of bitter jealousy), that I let you know Dani and Tate completed their exhaustive-yet-rewarding refit in the winter of 2014 and set sail January, 2015 to bravely make the first passage of their trip, their first overnight passage on the boat and their first Gulf crossing (all in one!) as they braved the winter winds from Rabbit Island down to the Keys. They made it safely to the Keys in five days, subsequently made the jump south to Cuba then decided to go west to Mexico where they fell in the beautiful quagmire that is Isla Mujeres. I encourage you to follow them on their wildly entertaining and inspirational journey.

But, let’s get back to the important stuff. Yes, the burlesque gals. As talented as LadyBeast and the d’Licious bunch were (it is admittedly hard to top metal grinders and chains), I have to say Show No. 2 took the cake. Why? I’ll give you a clue …

The CLUE-themed murder mystery was really such an awesome idea for a show (and a great way to get the audience involved and make more money to boot). Before the show began, you could buy votes ($1 a piece) to take a random stab at WHO DONE IT? (And, of course, in true CLUE fashion, in what room they did it and with what weapon — pictured above — the revolver and the wrench). Then, as each lady took the stage, she was dressed as a certain CLUE character and dancing in a certain CLUE room. At the very end of her dance, she would reveal a weapon, which meant you needed to scratch that suspect, venue and deadly piece off your list. Here is the burlesque CLUE cast – you can likely make out a few key characters — Miss White, Professor Plum, Miss Scarlet, Colonel Mustard is actually the voluptuous vixen in the middle (well-played):

As the show went on (and you realized your previous guesses were obviously wrong) you could buy more votes to submit. The winning votes were thrown in a hat at the end and one drawn out as the winner of an actual classic CLUE game and the privilege of crawling through a “spank tunnel” (yes, exactly what you would imagine) under the burlesque gals. In all, it was total entertainment, an incredible night with the hilarious Dani & Tate duo and certainly an evening Phillip and I won’t soon forget.

Visiting with the Sundowner crew, who are now well on their way to world travel, only told us what we already knew–the time to go is now. As Tate said recently in an email to us, “My God, it’s everything we expected. You need to get out here. You understand.”

Yes, Tate. We do. You kids have fun out there. Fair winds. We’ll see you soon.

Many thanks to the patrons who help make these posts just a little more possible through PATREON.

Strictly Sail Finale – Memorable Miami Moments

March 18, 2015March 18, 2015anniedike

February 15, 2015:

Waiter No. 1: “Ahhh … Here we are folks, the spicy tuna tartar.”

Phillip [swallowing a bite of his curry]: “No, sorry sir. We’ve got our food already.”

We shrug our shoulders and get back to our plates. Phillip and I are dining at the new Tokyo Blue Asian fusion restaurant a few days into the Strictly Sail Miami show, already well into our third course and beginning the push-back-and-sigh routine. When the first waiter happened by, trying to dump a second entree on us, we thought nothing of it. But, when the second came along, I started to sense a story brewing. While the boats and “sailebrities” and seminars at the Show were all very well and good, as it seems is often the case, adventure tends to find us. During our time in Miami, Phillip and I stumbled upon a number of chance encounters, unlikely occurrences and other note-worthy experiences that I knew you all would enjoy. While they were numerous (believe it or not, I did cull this down), before I left this brightly-lit city to cover our next blog adventure, I had to share the following–some of our more memorable Miami moments. This one I like to call —

Where’s the Beef?

As Waiter No. 1 saunters off in a bit of a perplexed state, Phillip and I continue indulging in our sweet Chilean sea bass skewers, slow-roasted chica duck and an unforgettable Masaman Curry.

It isn’t long before the next server arrives, extending an exquisite looking display of fish towards me.

Waiter No. 2: “Here you are madam, the salmon carpaccio.”

Annie [putting her chopsticks down and wiping her mouth]: “That’s not mine. Sorry.”

Waiter No. 2 [looking confused]: “Isn’t this table 55?”

Annie [looking even more confused]: “Ummm … I couldn’t tell you.”

Having only been open a week or two at the time, we chalk it up to some table numbering kinks Tokyo Blue had yet to work out, shrug it off and get back to our chopping and sticking when a third one comes at us.

Waiter No. 3: “And, here we are folks. The beef tenderloin.”

He sets it down on the table before we can object (assuming we would). It’s a hot juicy slab of filet mignon sizzling on it’s own ceramic, stone coal pit.

Neither Phillip nor I said a word. No, “Sorry sir, that’s not ours,” or “Nope, not here.” It was silence and mesmiry (the Asian fusion version of mesmerize). Phillip didn’t know then–he’ll find out when he reads this–but, I nodded ever-so-slightly at the waiter while Phillip was eyeing that succulent piece of meat. I couldn’t help it. Did you see that sizzling thing? “Mmmh-hmmm” my eyes said. “That’s ours. Leave it.” I figured, twice we’d done the right thing and sent perfectly good food away. Third time’s a charm. The minute Waiter No. 3 pulled his hand away from the stone, Phillip and I both stabbed at the meat and started shoveling mouthfuls of savory red beef in.

It’s ours now. And, it was incredible–both Tokyo Blue and the free beef.

Well, That’s Very Proper of You

Speaking of free food, after our third day at the show, we found ourselves nearing the evening, wandering the docks yet again and poking around all of the fancy boats we couldn’t afford. Inadvertently, we stumbled into the velvet rope cordoned-corner for Leopard Catamarans. Champagne glasses were clinking. Everyone had dainty little plates in their hands heaped with dainty little saucy bites and bits. It looked delicious, and we were hungry. We had no interest in buying a boat at the show, much less buying a catamaran, but that’s the beauty of the boat show–it doesn’t matter! All they want is your name and an email so they can eHound you later and you’re in! “I’ve got plenty of junk emails. You’re welcome to all of them!”

It didn’t take much and we were soon behind the velvet rope, standing in line at the hot bar filling our own little dainty plates with steaming empanadas, croquettes, meat pies, you name it! And, there we were, two stacked plates between us, and a glass and a half of champagne, and guess who we saw standing not five feet away? The one. The only. Nigel Calder. I nudged Phillip hard, pointed in Nigel’s direction and hissed at him, “Look, it’s Mr. Seized-it-up-Solid!” He was right there, eating the free food right along with us. I wanted to find a suitable bush I could nestle in, pick it up and twinkle-toe over so I could spy on him. Phillip had the better idea to actually walk up to the man and talk to him.

Turns out, he was super approachable and easy to talk to. After a few exchanges, Nigel asked Phillip and I what connection we had to Leopard, to which we replied, “None. We just wanted some free food.”

“Well, that’s very proper of you,” Nigel responded in his thick British accent. “Why d’you think I’m here?” he said with a smile and continued nibbling.

Nigel then told us how he and his family, when they were live-aboard, on-the-hook cruisers, would scope out the big boat shows at the marinas and find out when the roped-off sales tents–like the very one we were standing in–would shut down for the day. The whole brood would then plan to motor up in their dinghy about that time and let the good yachties know they were welcome to donate any food that was going to go to the trash to the Calder clan instead. Nigel said they used to rack up on all sorts of free provisions that way.

The man is a total cruiser to the core. Love that guy.

The Lunch Line Nazi

Another fun (not free, but cheap!) food encounter–The Cafeteria. While we certainly enjoyed every meal in Miami, I hate to even think back on some of the pricier ones knowing what each little morsel cost us. But, I am proud to say, one of our favorite dining experiences of the entire trip only put us back $11.94. As I mentioned, the condo we snagged via Airbnb on Biscayne Boulevard offered us an exceptional view of Biscayne Bay and put us right within walking distance of the Strictly Sail show and just about every restaurant and area we wanted to check out.

Often, when we were walking to-and-fro for our morning coffee or dinner or what-not, we would pass by this little corner walk-up-and-order diner called The Cafeteria that usually had a line half-way down the block. The minute their roll-down street bars were raised, folks started to flock. About our third time walking by it, or, more accurately, walking around the line that was flowing out from it, Phillip and I decided we had to eat there just once. We planned it for our last lunch of the trip – Day Five, baby!

We were eyeing the little concession stand-like menu board on the back wall and watching folks as they stepped up, ordered and promptly moved out the way like a factory conveyor belt. You could tell this was a real locals joint. There would be no “dressing on the side,” no “hold the onions on that,” no special orders of any kind. ‘Your way’ was not an option here. The only way you could ‘have it,’ was their way. The beefy lunch-lady looking gal that was running the joint gave me that Soup Nazi vibe.

You walk up. You order a few items from the board. You step to the side. That’s how it was done. Phillip and I planned our attack and, despite a few bobbles with a bit of the Spanish, Phillip did a good job. The lunch-line Nazi seemed to accept our feeble request for some food and we were shuffled along with the rest of the brood to wait for our fried goodness. We ordered a croquette, some type of stuffed yuca roll, an empanada, a beef-filled biscuit thing and a traditional pressed Cuban sandwich. It was all fried or pressed, and it was all delicious.

The croquette, especially. Phillip risked another Nazi attack by getting back in the line to order us up a couple more, but he successfully weathered the storm. Atmosphere, experience and pallet-pleasing combined, The Cafeteria was easily our least expensive, yet one of our favorite meals of the trip.

We Draw the Line at Walgreen’s

So, I don’t go to Miami often. I’ve been maybe three times in all of my adult life. You would think whatever those crazy algorithms credit card companies use to determine which purchases are so uncommon they fall into the category of “suspected fraudulent charges,” would find lavish dinner and drinks in a rare city potentially fall under that purview. Apparently not my credit card company. Lunch at Ceviche 105 off of Biscayne Boulevard? Totally normal for Annie. A big, three-course dinner at Toro Toro in downtown Miami? Happens all the time. Those charges went through just fine. You want to know where they drew the line? Walgreen’s.

I pop over one morning to the Walgreen’s near our condo to pick up some shades and a hat, and the credit card Gods say, “We’ve had it. Enough is enough. We draw the line at Walgreen’s!” Card declined. Makes no sense. But, thankfully I had some dollar bills with me and was able to get my goods and go. The hat was totally worth it.

How the Other Half Lives

Our last night in the lavish, lit-up city we ended up wandering down Biscayne Boulevard toward the new Epic Hotel. The place was a spectacle. High-dollar cars littered the circle drive and mega yachts lined the waterfront access from the Miami River.

I’m sure the “Just J” stands for Jay-Z’s cousin’s or something.

We soon found ourselves sitting at the newly-opened Lilt Lounge in the Hotel craving a few of their signature cocktails. The back-lit tower of colorful liquor selections got patrons in the right “spirits.”

The place was super swank. Excellent jazz vibe, modern decor and a really impressive drink menu. The barkeep was a lot of fun, too. A real soft sell. He let us ease into our chairs and set out some waters while we perused the menu, gently wiping down the bar around us, waiting until we had made the perfect selection. He started chatting us up about where we were from and telling us a little about the hotel. He encouraged us to head up to check out the rooftop pool overlooking the Miami River and the Area 31 restaurant overlooking the pool. It really didn’t take much encouraging. What else were we doing? But, the view topside really knocked our socks off. Let’s just say it was — Epic. Join us, will you, and see how the other half lives …

I guess we got a little delusional in the crisp night air because we sauntered right into Area 31, one of Miami’s premiere ocean-inspired restaurants, like we were some distant relative of Jay Z himself and asked for a table with a view. We were either lucky, or on a slow Sunday night even twice-removed kin make the list, because they sat us and within minutes, Phillip and I were looking out on that gorgeous view from a rose-adorned table for two, settling in for our last swank meal of the trip.

How was the grilled octopus, you ask? Epic, I should say. Every morsel was delicious, and the service was superb. No free beef this time, but we weren’t complaining. We indulged one last time and then decided we were all ‘swanked’ out. It was high time we got this crew home before we could no longer afford a boat!

A breathtaking sunrise stretched over Biscayne Bay as we packed our bags the next morning and got ready to fly back to Pensacola.

In all, we spent five wickedly entertaining days in Miami and thoroughly enjoyed the Strictly Sail Miami show. The wealth of information and contacts we gained made it well worth the trip. We would definitely recommend it for anyone interested in learning more about boats, sailing and cruising or who is or might soon be shopping for a boat. Cruisers form such a small, supportive community, and some of the most knowledgeable in the business are all there at the show, readily available and eager to talk to you about just about anything. Once you’re plugged in, you feel there is always somewhere you can turn for help troubleshooting, plotting different passages, and ideas and solutions for rigging gear on the boat. Speaking of which, while I have had a lot of fun jumping right into this Strictly Sail Show after wrapping the epic Keys diaries, we did make some serious upgrades to the boat this past fall after returning from the Keys that we’ll cover in detail soon. We installed some really cool new boat stuff and took our balsa-cored beauty out to witness some of the most breathtaking sunsets yet. Plenty more in store! Next up, we “Go Green.” Stay tuned!

Many thanks to the folks who make these posts a little more possible with PATREON.

Strictly Sail Miami – Day Four – Edutainment & Cool Boat Stuff

March 11, 2015March 11, 2015anniedike

February 14, 2015:

Who wants to learn about sailing?

We did!! Sure, the Strictly Sail show is a great place to look at a ton of sailboats, but it’s also a great place to learn a ton about them, too. The Strictly Sail folks bring in speakers from all over the world–real experts in their field when it comes to sailing, cruising and crossing oceans. And, they offered so many different topics! From chartering to boat buying, ocean sailing, engine maintenance, navigation, tropical destinations, you name it. They offered something for every skill level and interest. We only had four days at the show with a half-day committed to a hands-on sail class and, of course, the desire to check out all of the boats and “cool boat stuff” on display. Time was of the essence. We had to be selective!

I felt like Elaine on Seinfeld trying to decide which seminars were really “spongeworthy.”

(And notice I said seminars not speakers – keeping it classy). We had a checklist that we stuck by and tried to coordinate and catch the topics we were really interested in or certain “sailebrities” we knew we just had to see. While we saw plenty of seminars–most were great, although there were a few snoozers (I will not name names)–here are the highlights:

1. Kretschmer‘s “Storm Sailing Strategies”: Ahhh … Mr. Kretschmer … where do I begin? This is a man who has crossed the Atlantic ocean more than 20 times and has taught and trained hundreds of mariners worldwide in hands-on storm tactics, yet he prefers to walk around the dock barefoot and hang with the everyday, no-name sailors. Our primary takeaway from his “Storm Sailing Strategies” seminar? “Forget about the main!” When downwind sailing, drop the main and just throw out the head sail. The main just bangs around shadowing the head sail, often accidentally jibes and basically just drives you crazy. I think it was Al Pacino who said it first, but Kretschmer sealed it for me:

2. Nigel Calder’s “Lessons Learned Along the Way”: Hands-down favorite presentation for us at the show. As I mentioned before, Nigel, being the hyper-technical yet undisputed expert of marine diesel engines and electronics, I expected him to be knowledgeable, yes. But, entertaining? No. Absolutely not. Was he, though? You better believe it. Nigel was surprisingly humble, self-deprecating and willing to re-live any number of his colossal screw-ups with a comedic timing that would knock your socks off. In this presentation “Lessons Learned Along the Way,” Nigel recounted, in vivid detail, not two but the THREE times that he, in the process of changing the oil in an engine, drained the oil from the engine, forgot entirely that he’d drained it (usually because a friend said “hey let’s go get a cold one at the pub”), then cranked the engine (to get to the pub) and promptly “seized it up solid.” Repeat that in a thick, British accent and you’ll come remotely close to understanding how wildly entertaining Nigel Calder was. Our primary takeaway from his presentation?

“If you’re going to seize one up solid, try and be sure it’s not yours.”

Smart man, that Nigel.

3. Lee Chesneau’s “1-2-3 Rule for Hurricane Avoidance”: Smart man, that Lee, too. We caught two of Lee’s weather forecasting seminars and learned a great deal from both of them. I, in particular, learned these are not little haircombs dotting the chart

Rather, they are wind symbols (arrows to be exact), indicating wind direction and speed.

Ahhhh … brilliant! Lee also did an excellent job of explaining the National Weather Service’s 1-2-3 rule for avoiding a hurricane path. If you’re out there, too far from land to get to shore, you can safely maneuver your way out of the path of a hurricane by estimating the “danger area” over a 72-hour period. Using the NWS’s 10-year average track predictions, you can predict the path of a hurricane’s danger zone (meaning the radius where the winds escalate above 35 mph) by projecting its path 100 nautical miles over 24 hours, 200 nm over 48 hours and 300 nm over 72 hours.

Voila! The 1-2-3 rule. Thank you Lee!

While there were plenty of other seminars we thoroughly enjoyed, I’ve tried to not be a snoozer myself by recounting them ALL in excruciating detail here. Pam Wall’s “Do You Want to Go to the Bahamas?” and Woody Henderson’s “Sailing Offshore” presentations, though, do get an honorable mention. In all, the seminars at the Strictly Sail show were well-planned, informative and–once you’d bought your $20 ticket to the show–absolutely free! Always a plus in our book. And, they were very intimate settings (think 20-30 folks, at most, attending, although it was usually 15-20) where you could interact with the speaker, interject and ask questions during the presentation and approach them afterward to ask them pretty much anything you darn-well pleased, which, for me, was … Will you read my book??

I hope I didn’t scare them too badly …

We had checked out a good deal of the boats at the show and heard plenty about them. And, I’ll tell you, one thing walking around a lot of sailboats makes you want to do is — SAIL! Isn’t that the point? We had signed up for a hands-on sailing class out on Biscayne Bay and were really excited to get out there on the water and put some of our newly-acquired sail plans to work.

Hands-On Essential Cruising Skills Class: We headed out Saturday morning (Happy belated V-day followers!) from 9:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. for a three-hour hands-on sailing class. The workshops are limited to 6 persons and were $99 a person.

We weren’t sure what to expect, but at $99 for a 3 hour sail around beautiful Biscayne Bay we figured we couldn’t miss. Perhaps he (and, yes, I assumed our instructor would be a “he” – totally misogynistic of me, I know) would spend an hour telling us which lines controlled the main sail and which ones the jib, how to drop the anchor, etc. Really basic stuff. That was definitely a possibility. But, what if he jumped right up and made us put a triple reef in in some heavy winds or … even better – HEAVE-TO!

Heck yeah!

What is “heave-to” you might ask? I once heard a boat instructor say, “It’s not where I heave, and then you heave, too … ha ha, snort,” and I hate to admit I actually chuckled when he said that. Heave-to is actually a critical sail skill for cruisers. It’s basically where you stop the boat (pretty much) in the middle of water so you can get some rest, make some food, hold your ground in a treacherous storm, or worse, turn around to pick up a man who has fallen over-board. For those of you non-sailors (or sailors, but non-heavers!) out there, heaving-to is basically where you leave the sails as is and turn the boat around in the wind to back-wind the jib. See how the Jenny, the head sail, on our boat in this picture is full because the wind is coming across the starboard (right) side of the boat?

If we were to heave-to in this position (i.e., turn to starboard until the wind came around and pushed on the back side of the Jenny), it would look like this:

Notice how the head sail is backwinded. We would then slowly turn the wheel back toward the wind (to port, or the left) until the boat basically parked itself in this position. It’s kind of crazy to think a boat can just stop itself in the middle of the water with sails up and the wind blowing, but it can. I’ve heard many sailors describe it, in rough conditions, as “turning off the sea.” Basically the sails are fighting the keel and rudder and the boat barely moves, usually a knot or less. Imagine if you’re bucking and rolling over monster waves and you can execute this maneuver to safely stop the boat and wait it out? American Sailing Association video on heaving-to HERE.

Knowing how to quickly and effectively heave-to is an incredibly valuable skill and, one that I’m a bit embarrassed to say, Phillip and I had never actually tried on our boat prior to the Strictly Sail show.

I know. We agree. We should have never shoved off for the Keys without trying it at least once during a safe afternoon sail in Pensacola Bay, just so we could be sure we knew how to do it, and how exactly our boat would perform in a hove-to position before we got ourselves out in the middle of the freaking Gulf. But, suffice it to say, we were inspired by what we learned during our hands-on sail class and we have since tried it on our boat in the safety of Pensacola Bay. You’ll also be thrilled to know we (and by “we” I mean “I”) goobered our sails up sufficiently–or as Nigel would say, “seized them up solid”–in the process, with witnesses to boot! Look out for that doozy-of-a-post soon!

We were pleased to find that, in addition to some basic skills, our hands-on sail class also covered docking maneuvers in high winds, storm tactics such as heaving-to, anchoring in rough seas, best practices for picking up and securing to a mooring ball and other skills that were great for Phillip and I to broach for the first time or just brush-up on. It never hurts to practice (or get out on the water for a beautiful day sail!). We got to get out on a Jennau 35, one Cruising World’s Pocket Cruisers of the year (although I have to say, I don’t personally consider a 35″ boat to be a “pocket cruiser” but that’s just me). We had another couple aboard who had done some chartering and were looking to buy a boat soon and a guy who had just bought his first sailboat and was just getting into sailing.

A quick shout-out to our American Sailing Association sailing instructor for the day — Jeff Lewis — who was super knowledgeable but also easy-going, a great teacher and a lot of fun!

So, great edutainment at the Strictly Sail show. We learned a ton, and I hope you have too. Sailing is awesome, intriguing, forever challenging and rewarding. You never stop learning.

Now, on to the COOL BOAT STUFF! There were only like 500 booths (give or take) at the show, each offering some really innovative, helpful and interesting boat products.

Some highlights?

1. Boat Leather: This guy, Tom, has been producing leather boat products for decades. When we bought our boat back in 2013 it had one of his boat leather steering wheel covers on it. Unfortunately, it had a couple of tears and a flap that were driving us crazy, so we started doing some research to replace it. When we flipped through our previous owner, Jack’s, meticulous paperwork (the man kept every receipt – and we’re so grateful!), we found Tom had sold the wheel cover to Jack back in 1992! So, that one piece of leather had lasted on our boat for over twenty years! We reached out to Tom this past summer and bought a new wheel cover from him. His instructional video was very helpful and allowed us to easily stitch the cover on ourselves. Boat Leather is a great product with exceptional service and instruction behind it. Can’t recommend it enough.

Website — www.boatleather.com.

Installation video HERE.

2. The Furling Spinnaker (Code Zero): That’s right, it will knock your socks off. Literally, because you no longer need a spinnaker sock! Before the Code Zero, sailors would launch their spinnakers by raising a big “sock” that houses the spinnaker sail, letting it fly freely, and then pulling the sock down to douse the spinnaker when they wanted to drop it.

Not a bad method (and not a bad 80’s one-piece, Trisha), but they have now created a furling spinnaker which is not quite a true spinnaker but close enough and a lot easier to manage. It is asymetrical, called a Code Zero, and it furls, meaning it spins around a stay at the front of the boat like most jibs and stays there. With the Code Zero, your spinnaker can now actually stay out on its own fore-fore stay all the time and you simply unfurl it when you want to fly it, and furl it up when you don’t.

And the crowd goes aaaahhhhhh …. It was probably the most innovative and intriguing item on display at the show. Many of the new boats come with a Code Zero already installed or are rigged with the necessary equipment to easily add one. I’m not saying we’re going to go out and put one on the boat this year, but they’ll definitely make you start thinking you want one. Lugging that huge sail from down below up onto the deck and then raising and lowering the massive sock can often deter sailors from flying a spinnaker when the winds are right for it, and get them into some trouble if they can’t get it down fast enough when the winds have picked up and are too strong for it. Winds can gust up quickly and if the sock jams and you can’t get your spinnaker down fast enough, well …

let’s just say it’s not pretty. The Code Zero definitely got a lot of folks rubbing their chins and thinking twice.

3. Gill Offshore Weather Gear: They are cranking out some pretty flexible, seemingly light-weight, yet high-performance foul weather gear at Gill. They also offered a 15% discount if you purchased at the show. If you recall, we had been sporting the Gorton’s gear that came with our boat (thank you Jack!) for years now.

High fashion.

We are clearly in need of a new (non-circa 1994) foul weather set that actually fits us, so we were seriously considering picking up a pair of the offshore Gill sets at the show.

While we didn’t end up getting them there (thinking it was a little late in the season to be buying foul weather gear), I have to say I was almost swayed by the Gill sales guy who had something super flattering to say no matter what bulky piece of rubber I decided to put on.

“Oh Matthew, stop it!”

Alright, and last but not least. Now that we’ve reached the bottom, let’s talk about the head.

4. The Airhead: This little gem. A composting toilet for the boat.

Think no suction tube, no joker valve, no holding tank, no pump-out, no macerator, no extra thru-hull on your boat … Definitely a lot to think about. The “stuff” drops in and is then contained or composted until you are ready to dump it out. No odor (they claim) and anticipating standard use, the No. 2 bin should only have to be dumped about once a month. Hmmmm … considering the fun we had replacing the suction tube on our boat and every equally exciting head project since then …

we were certainly giving the composting head some serious thought.

So – you learn some stuff, you check out new stuff, you peruse boats, babes and bikinis and you drink a lot of booze. Who’s liking the boat show now? Raise your hands! Next time, we’ll pull back the curtain and give you a glimpse of the “show behind the show”–the food, the restaurants and the chance-sailebrity encounters–before we call it a wrap and get on to the next adventure!

Many thanks to the folks who make these posts a little more possible with PATREON.

Strictly Sail Miami – Day Three – Boats & Booze

March 4, 2015March 10, 2015anniedike

February 13, 2015:

So, the thinking is, you go to a sailboat show to, you know, look at sailboats, right? Right! Of course! Now, do you have to necessarily be “shopping”? Heck, no! Looking is just fine. And, we did plenty of it. From the old to the new, the brown water to the blue, they had the whole gambit–tons of used and new, all in one place for (mostly) anyone to step aboard. Let’s go explore, shall we?

There were some pretty amazing boats we set foot on at the show, in a wide range of prices. Think yacht-price-guessing is something y’acht be good at? (Surprisingly, that did not take me long to come up with). Let’s see! How about a good old-fashioned Showcase Showdown! Who’s in?

Well, then, what are you waiting for … COME ON DOWN!!

First up — the GunBoat 55. Named Cruising World’s 2015 Domestic Boat of the Year, this high-performance, world-cruising luxury yacht offers a simplistic, clean, contemporary layout and style with full 360 visibility from the enclosed helm. Carbon fiber rigging and great attention to detailed assembly affords this boat an average 20 knots of speed.

Virtual tour of the boat:

There was a good bit of talk at the boat show about the inaugural run of GunBoat Hull No. 1, the s/v Rainmaker. Sadly, the boat was dismasted by a 70-knot wall of wind south of Cape Hatteras.

Thankfully, the crew were airlifted out safely in a heroic rescue effort by the U.S. Coast Guard, leaving the boat, however, abandoned for salvage recovery. Some pretty dramatic footage here:

It was definitely a sobering report to hear but an exemplary showing of a skillful and successful rescue by the USCG. It definitely gives me comfort knowing that’s the kind of response we would receive if–knock on wood–we ever had to activate the EPIRB. The GunBoat we got to poke through at the show, the Toccata out of Annapolis, was exquisite. Probably a little too contemporary and modern for my taste (I just love the old classic wood designs), but who doesn’t like to travel smoothly at 20 knots?

So, contestants, what’s the Price-is-Right guesstimate on this one? $1 mil. Maybe two?

Wrong! $2.5 mil.

What’s next Bob?

Ahhh … the Knysna. I’m generally not a Cat fan, but this one was wooing me a bit. Or maybe it was the sales pitch. Knysna is a a boutique builder. They work with the owner to develop every step of the design. Everything is fully-customized and unique to the owner. They only build ten boats a year. It is the epitome of collaboration, craftsmanship and creativity.

And, if that’s not enough, they build them in the stunning Knysna Heads Lagoon on the East Coast of South Africa, where they encourage you, after the build is complete, to drop the anchor and stay a few weeks while you test out the systems and learn your boat with the Knysna service team in easy reach and ready to assist with any service need.

Kind of hard to say no to that. When we asked the lovely gal who was showing us around the boat what the “base price” was, her response was “Eight-ninety.” Phillip and I acted like we’d heard this a million times. “Ahhh, yes,” we said, shaking our heads decisively. But, as we walked away, we looked at each other stumped and asked the obvious question — Did she mean $890,000 or $8.9 million. Which is it contestants?

Bid carefully … Aha! $890,000 it is!

Not a bad deal, really, for a custom-built South African beauty. Let’s see another, Bob!

This was a favorite of ours. The Amel 55. Phillip got to step aboard an Amel years ago when he was cruising with some friends down in the Grenadines and he immediately fell in love, proclaiming it the most “well-thought out, intuitive boat he had ever set foot on.” I thought it was awesome because it is the same boat our Delos buddies have cruised all over the southern hemisphere.

And, I use the term “buddies” loosely. They don’t really yet know I exist, but they will soon! LOOKOUT!! Get a virtual tour of their Amel here:

If you haven’t yet been struck by the revelation that is Delos, I encourage–nay I urge!–you to check them out, donate to watch their awesome travel log videos (it’s like a buck, the best one you will spend this year I promise) and send Delos some love!

The Amel at the boat show did not disappoint. Of all the boats we set foot on, this was definitely the classiest broad!

So, Showcasers, what are we thinking for this 2015 beaut? Another lucky $890? A smooth $1 mil.

Guess again! Only $1.5 mil and this baby is yours! Who’s cutting a check?

While there were so, SOOO many more boats we looked at, I’ve got be selective (or you’ll likely fall asleep). One other honorable mention in the ‘spensive category was the 75’ Little Harbor. While the layout was impressive (I lost count of the rooms and beds at like 8),

what really caught our eye was the massive engine room. More like an engine suite really …

There she is, do you dare to enter?

And, don’t you just love the engine names? We’ve got Lucille on starboard and Roxanne on port. That way you know exactly which of these white beasts to curse when she totally flakes on you (because you know she’s gonna – women always do at some point). My money’s on Roxy. She sounds temperamental.

What’s this? A room within the engine room?

A look back.

Also, a little reminder of the spacious engine room on the Niagara 35 might help give you a little perspective here.

Ahhh … roomy. So, the Little Harbor could be yours! You want all 75 feet of her? Well, break out another mil. This beauty goes for a sweet $1.1 million. Pocket change! At this rate, the only boat we were going to be able to buy at the boat show would be this inflatable number:

“We’ll take it!”

While we did check out some of the more affordable production line boats, Benneteau, Jenneau, Hunters and the like, all I can say is they just weren’t too picture-worthy in our opinion. Some of the headliners and paneling would actually indent and pop back out, audibly, when you pushed on them. The build quality made it feel like you’d stepped into a Jim Walter model home that floated. When we saw one model (I won’t name names) that boasted a built-in hook on either side of the vberth cabin for “crew” to hang their roll-aboard suitcases … I just shut down. Not only do we frown upon the bringing of a roll-aboard on the s/v Plaintiff’s Rest, if you happen to commit this fatal faux pas, we certainly don’t have a hook you can hang it on once it’s aboard.

“Permission to come aboard?” Uhhhh … NO!

We’re not blue-water snobs or anything, but that was just laughable. One glimmering hope, though, was the Marlow-Hunter. I will say Marlow has really stepped up expectations in the production department and the build quality. The 31-footer is a pretty well-built vessel for $116k. In all, a look at the new 30′-42′ cruising monohulls only confirmed our rock-solid belief that our 1985 Niagara 35′ is not only an incredibly well-built, capable world cruiser, it is the perfect boat for us. They just don’t make them like they used to. We love you old gal!

But, boy, looking at all those boats was sure exhausting, and dehydrating! Are you thirsty yet? We were! It was high time for some booze, the price for which, in Miami, can sometimes knock your socks off. The cost of the drinks was almost as shocking as the cost of the boats. So, let’s have a little more Showcase Showdown fun, shall we?

What do you think the going rate is for one of these numbers–a pisco sour and a jalapeno-infused Peruvian pisco fuego drink at Ceviche 105?

$20.00

‘Scuse me?? For both. $10.00 a piece. Not bad that far South. Let’s try another.

How about these light-up, two-foot tall tall mojitos at the Mojito Bar in Bayfront?

Those look fun. Do they? They’re $22.00, in the souvenir glass. And, yes, that’s $22 a piece. Holy …

If you want to go a little cheaper, try the beer and the coconut mojito, in them regular glasses and save yourself $13 a drink.

Who wants to spin the wheel one more time?

You do! I know it!

Craving a little chocolate martini at Biscayne Tavern?

“That’ll be $12.00, ma’am.”

Ouch … You broke yet? Boats and booze alike, were any of you right on the money? Well, what do we have for them Bob? Ahhh … looks like we’re giving away a free ticket to view next week’s post – the “Edutainment” portion of the Strictly Sail show. Congratulations, and thanks for playing!

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Strictly Sail Miami – Day Two – The Cast & Crew

February 25, 2015March 10, 2015anniedike

February 12, 2015:

“Hi, Bob … pardon me. I’m sorry to interrupt, but, hi. Bob. It’s Annie. I’m Annie. I’m a huge, huge fan … ”

I’m pretty sure it sounded about that timid and giddy. I mean it was Bob Bitchin, THE Bob Bitchin–right there in the very darn coffee shop where Phillip and I were having our first caffeinated sip before the big boat show! I had it all planned in my mind that I was going to meet him at the big Cruising Outpost party on Saturday and this early, unplanned coffee shop encounter was totally throwing me. But, Phillip, as he often does because he knows it’s best for me, threw me to the wolves, and I’m so glad he did. I was thrilled to find Bob actually remembered me from our meager email exchanges about my first article that he published and my desire to self-publish a sailing book. I extended a shaky hand with my Salt of a Sailor book in it and tripped on words like “honored, privileged and inspired” trying somehow to convey the message that I hoped Bob would read it, enjoy it and let me know what he thought. For all I know, though, I could have been speaking German. I can’t remember a single English sentiment that I conveyed before I thanked him, giggled again and started tripping my way back to Phillip in a total sweaty mess. But, I had done it! Met Bob Bitchin, gave him the book and said something that (I believe) resembled praise. There. Done.

Just as my blood pressure finally started to subside and I could once again taste my coffee, Bob came back over. Oh boy … He was super generous, though, telling me he had flipped through my book and that he liked the interior formatting and the photos. He gave me some advice on some additional publishing mumbo jumbo that I should include at the beginning next time and gave me some recommendations on ordering author copies for resale. He was so generous with his time and insight. I sat starry-eyed and spoke some more German. It wasn’t until we were actually at the boat show and I had gathered my wits about me that I finally saw fit to ask him for a photo so I could share it on the blog. There you have it. The giddy German gal and the man himself – Bob Bitchin!

“I hope you enjoy the book, Bob!”

This was my first and certainly most memorable “sail-ebrity” sighting during our Strictly Sail trip but there were many more. I thought, before we get into all the boats, booze, sailing and “edutainment” seminars, I could help set the stage for you by introducing you to Have Wind Will Travel’s version of the Strictly Sail Miami’s cast and crew:

THE CAST (Sailebrities) — These are the big dogs of sailing, the cruisers that you read and read about, the ones that have crossed oceans, circumnavigated, been sailing for decades and talking about and presenting on it even longer. The great thing about the Strictly Sail show is that they’re no longer icons in print, they’re right there, standing not five feet from you. They’re approachable, friendly and seemingly just as eager to meet you as you are them (or at least they pretend really well). Phillip and I were super impressed with the intimacy of the seminars at the show and the opportunities it allowed us to meet and chat with some of our favorite sailebrities:

Bob Bitchin — I’m sure I’ve said enough about him already. Hell, he’s probably cringing and ducking his head by now as many times as I’ve “gone giddy” over him on the blog. But, just to add a little background, I picked up one of his books, Starboard Attitude, the first day at the show (and made him sign it for me – of course!), started flipping through it and was astounded to read the man’s bio. He spent 28 years ripping across the U.S. on a motorcycle (certainly explains the Harley shirts and tats) and even served as a bodyguard and roustabout for Evil Knievel back in the 70’s. I don’t even know what a “roustabout” is, but I want to be one! Before he even thought about cruising, he produced one of the largest cycle shows on the West Coast, CycleExpo, as well as published multiple biking and tattoo magazines. He then … oh hell, I’ll just let you read it. If you can dream it up, Bob’s done it:

John Kretschmer — This man, the sailor who has crossed the Atlantic ocean more than 20 times, the one who stopped counting his nautical miles when he reached 300,000, was the most humble, self-deprecating, genuine person I might venture to say I have ever met. He performs professional yacht deliveries around the world and takes eager crew members and captains out on training passage across some pretty harrowing waterways. You can sign up to crew a passage with John via his website, although I believe he’s booked well into 2016. (The man is popular). His seminars were also engaging and authentic. To be honest, for me, crossing an ocean was a bit further down the list (well after spending a year in the Bahamas, cruising the Carribean and what not), but after hearing John speak about it, I started to see it in an entirely new light. John was an inspiring and entertaining speaker and, we heard from several independent sources at the show, an exceptional writer. Phillip and I bought his Sailing a Serious Ocean book at the seminar (and made him sign it – of course!) and we can’t wait to give it a read. At the Mercy of the Sea will be next on our list. When I got all giddy and told John about my own book, he laughed and said he “loved reading stuff like that” and “couldn’t wait to check it out.” Even if it was just a line, I ate it right up. John was such a pleasure to meet.

2. Pam Wall — Pam served as West Marine’s Cruising Consultant for over twenty years. She has sailed more nautical miles in the Bahamas than loaves of bread have been baked in the U.S. in 2015 (check that fact), and she has helped thousands of cruisers out there every step of the way. Her passion for cruising and the adventure and cultural education it offers is clear from the minute she starts speaking about it. Her bit on the black squalls that cruisers often face when crossing over to the Bahamas really stuck with me. “Respect the weather, watch the skies, but don’t curse a valuable asset,” Pam said. “Prepare for the passing storm, let the boat and crew enjoy a refreshing ‘Mother Nature shower’ and fill the water tanks. Squalls can be a good thing.” Pam writes an insightful and informative blog on her website — www.pamwall.com — and will tell any cruiser who is passing through Ft. Lauderdale to make contact and “take her out to lunch!”

3. Nigel Calder — I have to say Mr. Calder was the biggest surprise for me. He is like “THE” expert on diesel engine maintenance and boat electronics. I remember trying (sorry, Nigel, it’s not you, it’s me) to read his Mechanical and Electrical Manual well before Phillip and I even found our boat and while it was incredibly informative and detailed, it was also super technical. Nigel is an obvious engine and electronics guru. So, I figured he would, obviously, be a stuffy professor type, sporting an accent and a monocle. Well … let’s say I was right about the accent, but wrong about everything else. Nigel’s presentation “Lessons Learned Along the Way,” which I will cover later (that, and the chance encounter with him in the Leopard Tent, many a-Nigel story to come) was Phillip and I’s agreed favorite of the whole show. Nigel was a riot.

4. Lee Chesneau — The Weather Man. When it comes to pressure systems, wind patterns, and hurricane prediction, Lee is your guy. Lee is a senior marine meteorologist who boasts a distinguished and extensive career with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA’s) National Weather Service (NWS). Lee gives weather presentations all over the nation and hosts educational weather forecasting seminars for commercial vessel captains on a global scale. He’s also a hoot, with these awesome lopsided glasses he sports during his seminars. Very high fashion. Lee has a real talent for “dumbing down the weather” in a way that enables everyday cruisers to watch weather patterns and make safe predictions for passage. I’ll lay out his helpful 1-2-3 rule for tropical storm and hurricane monitoring in our upcoming “Edutainment” portion (I know you’re excited), which we found very helpful. Lee maintains an extensive and informative website on marine weather forecasting where you can also contact him to request weather predictions.

Woody Henderson — This man-boy has seemingly done it all, solo-circumnavigated, wrote for Latitudes & Attitudes (you may recall “Woody’s World”) for thirteen years, and helped form Adventure Voyaging, where he and Tonia Aebia, the youngest sailor ever to circumnavigate, now plan and lead multi-boat sailing adventures to exotic locations all over the world — Tonga to Croatia, The Grenadines, Thailand, you name it. He has cruised and taught cruisers for decades but, by the looks of it, my guess is he started doing all of that at the ripe age of ten. I think he was also on the cover of BOP and Tiger Beat when I was still cutting those up and hanging them on my bedroom walls.

His boyish good looks aside, Woody was an incredibly warm and endearing speaker with a wealth of information to offer. He is a sharp captain, experienced cruiser and capable voyage leader.

THE CREW — While the sailebrities were very exciting, I have to say, the real entertainment were the folks we encountered walking around the boat show. While there is a whole cast of them, here are some honorable mentions:

The Yacht Models — These men are pretty. They like to walk around the boat show in pristine, pressed sweaters, either pulled tightly around their chiseled frames or draped delicately over their shoulders and in a neat tied knot.

“Yes, Eduardo, I’ll take my brandy out here on the lido deck, please.”

The Drink Service Gals — A real classy bunch, and apparently hearty too. They wear these skimpy crotch shorts and wedge heels in any kind of weather!

“Another round, sir?”

The Money Suits — It seemed if you wanted to really catch a boat broker’s eye, you walked up to the yacht covered head-to-toe in a white linen suit, with a vivacious broad on your arm (the majority of which typically sported a wildly unnatural hair color and some form of pleather, snakeskin apparel). A toy dog in an shoulder bag was optional but also common. Show up looking like this and they knew you were serious about signing papers today.

However, there was another kind of “power suit” in play–certainly not linen and I think he was more in the business of selling, as opposed to buying.

The Wanna-Bes — Watch out for these guys. They’ll act like they’re interested in your big, fancy, production-line boat as they kick off their shoes and step aboard, but they really want to look at the Clorox-build quality and snicker because they know their older, well-crafted 80’s model could run circles around her.

“Uhhh, yes, thanks for letting us have a look. She’s beautiful. We’ll be in touch.” (NOT!)

Although, I will say I think we were a bit more “kind of are” as opposed to “wanna be” that night because Phillip’s shoulder-sweater-swagger got us escorted into a super swanky exclusive affair. We headed to the Design District for dinner that evening and while we were walking the streets, checking out all of the construction and renovation that’s going on down there, we passed by this sea of snarly socialites.

The woman were all perched on six-inch stilettos, at least, clad in super-tight cocktail numbers with their hair slicked back in high fashion pony tails. The men were donning very high-end blazers and trendy horn-rimmed glasses, and they were servers milling around in tuxedos offering sparkling trays of drinks and little fru-fru hors d’oeuvres. There was a live band with a buttery-voiced female lead crooning in the corner, sculpted art rising up out of the ground and a cacophony of clinging champagne flutes and high falsetto laughter. Ha ha ha. It was quite the haughty affair. Being the curious, roustabout cruisers we are, Phillip and I were just poking around, taking it all in, when a snippy woman confronted us with a clipboard, a visible stance blocking our entry and a prompt, “Name please, sir?”

Phillip and I looked at each casually, shrugged our shoulders as if the whole thing didn’t matter and Phillip said, “We were just going to have a look around.”

The woman dropped her head down, squinted at Phillip over the rims of her naughty librarian glasses for a long minute and finally said, “Welcome then,” as she swept the clipboard behind her back and stepped aside, extending one arm to invite us in. I think she might have mistaken Phillip for this man.

Common mistake.

With his convenient look-alike status, Phillip and I stepped into this elegant, high societal gathering and pretended like we were the most important people there.

An Italian-accented lad in a tuxedo came up with a dazzling tray of drinks and offered me a brandy cocktail and Phillip a sparkling flute of prosecco. We cheersed each other, laughing at the irony of it all, “If only they knew,” and infiltrated the crowd.

Having finished our first sparkling round rather quickly, I was about to summon the nice Italian boy over for another when Phillip stopped me. He was looking at a flyer that was sitting on one of the tables. Turns out the “haughty affair” was a fundraiser, with “suggested” donation amounts starting at one thousand and escalating to TEN. My eyes just about popped out of my head. “$10,000?!” We’re cruisers. The only thing in our world worthy of a $10,000 donation is our boat, parts for our boat, or work that needs to be done our boat.

“We need to go,” Phillip said easing me back behind the pillars. We left our empty flutes by the empty donation placard on the table and slipped out the back before they could trap us. That was about to be the most expensive drink we’d ever had. It was fun to flirt with well-to-dos, though, if only for a bit. Our first day at the boat show certainly introduced us to an interesting array of characters that we would meet, gawk at and interact with over the course of the next few days. Now that you have a good flavor of the cast and crew, it’s high time we raised the curtain on this Strictly Sail Miami show. Next time these “wannabes” will take you along as they set foot on many a boat they cannot afford — Cruising World’s Boat of the Year, the GunBoat 55, an exquisite Amel 55 (think s/v Delos), an Oyster, Hylas, Knysna and more. Stay tuned!

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Strictly Sail Miami – Day One – A Bitchin View

February 18, 2015March 10, 2015anniedike

February 11, 2015:

I know, a blog post in real time? Modern day 2015? This is crazy! But, it was all too exciting to let simmer on the back burner. While we embarked on plenty of adventures, excursions and (always) more boat projects since our return from the Keys in May of 2014, honestly, they can wait. From the moment we docked back in May, the next big “sail trip” on the horizon was, for us, the Strictly Sail Miami show in February.

Their unbiased sponsor, Flo, claims, “It’s the sailing event of the season!”

Strictly Sail puts on shows in various cities–Chicago, California, etc.–every year and we had been trying to make it to one for a while. When the show in Miami came up, we booked it months in advance and started scraping our pennies so we could afford, you know, like three drinks in Miami. The show would also be a great opportunity to check out the latest technologies and developments in boat design, sail accessories, electronics and hardware, as well as attend seminars and hands-on sail classes taught by some of the sailing world’s well-versed and renowned experts–Nigel Calder, Jimmy Cornell, John Kretschmer and the like–real, live sailebrities, if you will. *sigh*

I also had another more personal goal in mind. I had been mulling over the idea of polishing and cobbling together a few of my early blog posts into a book for quite some time (I know–surprise, surprise). But, when the time came to get serious about it, I reached out to the man who published my very first sail story for some guidance. You may recall this notorious character —

Bob Bitchin, self-proclaimed “Editor-at-Large” of Cruising Outpost. Bob has written and published a number of books himself over the course of his colorful career, so I figured he could give me some words of wisdom when it came to publishing my own. Bob’s recommendation on publishing? “Self-publish,” he said. “It’s the best way to go.” Self-publish, I thought with a huff. Who’s going to buy my hand-made, self-printed drivel? But, I pondered it for just a bit before I promptly decided to take his bitchin advice and do it! Then I got real bold and told Bob I’d bring him a first edition, signed copy at the Miami show! *gulp* Now I had a real deadline, but an incredibly motivating goal.

Luckily, I busted my arse, finished Salt of a Sailor in record time and packed the very first hard copy with me on the flight to Miami. My plan was to corner Bob at the famous Cruising Outpost Party he hosts every year at the show. I planned to gently saunter up to him at the party, introduce myself in person, book in hand, and thank him for all of his help. Or, if that didn’t work, spring out from behind a port-a-potty if need be and hold him down until he took the book from me and promised to read it cover to cover. Either way, I was excited about the Bob encounter.

The book all printed and packed, Phillip and I hustled ourselves to the airport to get on a big jet airliner to Miami the day before the Strictly Sail show began.

Who’s excited??

Another really cool part about this trip was that it was our first time to try out this fancy new vacay rental website called Airbnb. Don’t know if you’ve heard of it, but it’s a fantastic concept. Anyone, anywhere in the world can list their property (be it their whole house, apartment or studio) or just one room (the guest bedroom, the garage, whatever) on the Airbnb website for rental by total strangers (aka … us!). We had poked around on the site weeks before the trip and found a one-bedroom condo that looked like it was just a few blocks from the Strictly Sail show, which meant we could walk everywhere – no car rental! Even after taxes and the Airbnb service charge, it was still cheaper than any hotel in the area. Thank you Airbnb! We hopped on the Metrorail (a whopping $2.25 a piece to get from the airport to our condo) and headed downtown.

And, when we got to the condo, the Vizcayne on Biscayne Blvd, we were thrilled to find it was literally right across the street from the show!

We could literally throw a stone at the Strictly Sail tent from the front door of our condo building! (That is, if we were inclined to throw stones at it … we opted for embarrassing selfies instead!)

And, the condo? Let’s just say we had a bitchin view!

And, you might think it would be hard to really kick back and get comfortable in someone else’s place? Trust me, it’s not.

But, we didn’t stay at the condo long. We were ready to get out and explore and dig into some authentic Miami cuisine. Our trusted rigger back home, Rick Zern with Zern Rigging, had recommended an upscale Peruvian restaurant near the marina, which turned out to be about a half block from our condo. I’m telling you – location, location, location. So, we went to check it out–CVI.che 105. And, I’ve had some really great ceviche before, I’m definitely a fan, but every time I’ve had it, it’s always been a mix of tiny little diced up pieces that look a lot like pico de gallo. Something like this —

Peruvian ceviche, however? Looks like this!

Huge chunks of shrimp, octopus, fresh fish, calamari, mussels, etc. They’re tart but tender. And, it comes on a bed of fried corn (which adds great texture), these sweet, plump hominy-looking kernels and sweet potato. Yes, sweet potato. I would have never thought to throw in some sweet potato with ceviche, but trust me, the Peruvians know how to do it. We also tried their grilled octopus with chimichurri and creamy pepper sauce,

and Phillip ordered the braised beef and beans, both of which were incredibly flavorful.

Then we were miserable. Pretty much, anyway. That was a lot of food. Way more than we needed at the time, so we knew next time, to order one entree and split there, but it was absolutely divine–best ceviche I have ever had, hands down. Stuffed to the gills, we decided to go poking around the marina, get a little preview of the boats and decide which ones we wanted to check out first tomorrow.

“Uhhh, yes, I’m looking to upgrade my Niagara 35 to a 74″ Catamaran.”

Not really. We would never! We love our Niagara! But, that’s what we were planning to tell the brokers so they would let us on these big, buoyant monsters just for a look-see. There were soooo many floating mansions to see! We spent a couple of hours poking around the boats and the big tent, planning our attack for the next day and eventually worked our appetites back up. (It really doesn’t take much with us, though). After some thorough Trip Advisor scouring, Phillip had rooted out this little place called Toro Toro for us to check out. The bar at Toro Toro was THE happening place in Miami–a modern, swanky atmosphere, finely crafted cocktails and all walks of elegant Miami life.

We also got incredibly lucky to get in without a reservation (because the place was booked solid the rest of the time we were in Miami) but after a quick sip at the bar, they called us right back. From the moment we sat down, everyone in the place stopped by to check on us–make sure we had menus, our candle was lit, had the sommelier come by yet? The service was phenomenal. And, the food? So good I forgot to take pictures. That is … until the highlight. Their La Bomba dessert. I’m not sure you can handle this.

Three scoops of vanilla bean and strawberry ice cream, fresh fruit and cookie crumble, complete with an edible flower garnish, are brought to the table in a sculpted chocolate shell bowl.

The server lays down a clean piece of plastic on the table and then … CRACK! He drops the bowl onto the table where it shatters into a beautiful, melted chocolate dream. Slow-churned caramel is then drizzled over the top, almost like a painting.

It was a true culinary experience.

That, sadly, among these two ravenous travelers, didn’t last long!

We sauntered home with visions of caramel drizzle and chocolate shards dancing in our head. The Strictly Sail show hadn’t even begun yet and we had already sunk our teeth deep into the adventure. Despite the full bellies and travel fatigue, we found it a bit difficult to lull ourselves into a deep sleep that night. Perhaps it was the newness of the place, but I suspect it was the excitement of the day to come–the boats we would explore, the fellow cruisers we were going to meet, the sailebrities!

Phillip and I both rustled to before the sun rose the next morning and started checking the seminar schedule and readying the backpack for the day. This was it! The Strictly Sail Miami show! We stopped in at a little coffee shop at the YVE hotel across from the show, where many Strictly Sail folks were staying, ordered up a couple of lattes to sip on before the show and settled in at a window seat. I was perfectly content, sipping my latte, munching some granola, with a lovely view out of the cafe window. Phillip, however, had a different view. He spotted him first. Over my shoulder. Sitting there, drinking coffee, eating a bagel, like a totally normal person, not five feet from us. The man himself … BOB BITCHIN.

I immediately started sweating, fidgeting with my hair, biting my nails, glancing over my shoulder. It was really him! Phillip and I debated it a bit. Should I bust up on him, now, all starry-eyed and stammering, book-in-hand or wait until the Cruising Outpost party on Saturday? Would it irritate him if I interrupted his breakfast? What if he held up his hand to cut me off and just said, “Sweetheart, talk to my people?” I had no idea what this man would do! I was all hot and clammy and nervous, but ready to get it over with. Phillip pulled the copy of my Salt book I had signed for Bob out of the backpack, handed it to me and told me to go for it …

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It’s Weird to Be Back

January 28, 2015March 10, 2015anniedike

May 14, 2014:

Isn’t it funny how quickly you acclimate? Thirty some-odd years living on land, but after only six measly weeks living on a boat during our trip to the Keys it seemed our bodies and minds had converted wholeheartedly to cruising. Our first day back on dry land, we were doing and experiencing some mighty strange things as official land lubbers. Any of you familiar with these phenomenon?

1. The Sink Pump: You walk up to the kitchen sink, hold your hands under the faucet and start pumping your foot on the floor thinking water is going to magically come out.

2. The Drawer Jam: You just about break every finger trying to jam it into a hole in the face of the drawer, that is not there mind you, to unclip the little hickie-doo that keeps it shut.

3. Elf Syndrome: Have you ever been back to your old elementary school or perhaps the house you grew up in? Some place you only knew as a child that you remember as being huge, vast and tall? But, then, when you return as an adult it feels so tiny, claustrophobic even. Well, reverse that. After being packed tight in the little cabin of the boat for so long, sucking in to slide by one another to get to the sink, the condo felt e-NOR-mous! And, I was tiny! I mean, I could do a handstand in the living room. A handstand! I’d never realized that before but was somehow mesmerized by it now.

4. Decision Fatigue: With seemingly endless possibilities, it felt exhausting trying to decide what to wear in the morning. There were so many options, so many colors and combos and shoes! Where I was once torn between the flip-flops or the deck shoes, I now had heels, boots, flats and more flops (and I kind of hated it). The same applied when it came time to decide what to eat, what to watch, where to go. It was exhausting.

5. OCB: Obsessive, compulsive battery disorder–the inexplicable and irrational need to find and check some non-existent battery meter in your home, apartment or condo (none of which run on batteries) to make sure you have enough “juice” left.

6. Shower Legs: It’s that dizzying feeling you get in the shower after being on a long, rolly passage. You don’t quite have your land legs back and if you close your eyes, you have to put your hand on the shower stall wall just to stay upright. To re-create, bend over, put your head on an imaginary bat, spin around twelve times, stand up and close your eyes. You’ll find yourself reaching for the stall wall in no time.

7. Road Risk: The opposite of road rage. Somehow the need to zip in and out of traffic, peel out, brake hard and honk at indecisive drivers, doesn’t have quite the same appeal. In fact, you feel you’ve become that slow old-lady driver you used to curse and shake your first at as you now gingerly put on your blinker and slow three blocks in advance before making that soft, steady turn onto Mayberry Lane. You may have beat through storms in blue waters, but it didn’t feel near as dangerous as getting behind the wheel of a car. Driving is scary.

8. Duck Disorder: The persistent urge to duck before stepping through any doorframe, albeit one with three feet of clearance over your head. I was even ducking to get into the shower and when reaching into the fridge.

9. Pot Disenchantment: You pour water in the white plastic basin in the back, put a filter and coffee in it and you push a button. Where’s the magic? I missed filling up the kettle with the foot pump, turning on the burner on the stove and hearing that sweet fwoof sound when the gas lit. And, I mean, it’s a kettle. It’s like old-timey tea days. It whistles. How fun is that? Sorry Mr. Coffee, a button-push and a drizzle just aren’t going to cut it anymore.

10. Connection Anxiety: Once folks know you’re back, all of a sudden they need to hear from you, like they’ve never needed to hear from you before, certainly not in the last six weeks when you were out, on that beautiful boat, crossing crystal-green waters in silence. And, everything is urgent. People expect you to respond to their emails immediately, text them back all the time. If you don’t, they’ll call you, at anytime of the day, without warning and usually without a real need. Just … you know … to tell you they’re driving to the grocery store. They ask you what you’re doing. You tell them you just left the grocery store and then an awkward silence ensues. Your face contorts in mild disgust when you realize this is why they called you. They want to talk about nothing. This is what they do.

While these strange phenomenon had us chuckling at ourselves and shaking our heads, we did take advantage of our time back ashore to debrief and look back on our close calls, the lessons we learned and things we could have done better. Stay tuned next time for our Mishap Recap.

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